Increasing Your Creativity/help!
ok so im a 14 yr old girl who writes poems and stories. however I have no idea if I write them correctly or even if they are any good. normally I wouldn't bother people with my little woes but everyone around is no help.so like here is one of my shorter poems. could you give me some advice on how I could improve it and stuff? thanks :)
Iím analysing my prey
Looking for weaknesses
Iím a komodo dragon: no mercy
I look at my schedule
2 more days
Iím studying my prey
Eager to win
Iím an ostrich: readying myself to speed away
I know: there are only 5 hours left
Iím Shovelling energy into my body
Iím a gazelle
I have trained: toned myself
My stamina is high
My hope is high
My fear is high
I hope to succeed
I fear to fail
Iím here. Itís starting
I study their faces
Look for any sign of weakness
Look for any sign of emotion
Searing pain rushes through me
Is it over before itís begun?
Iíve worked so hard. I must do this
I exterminate my opponents out of the race as I pass them
Compered to me, they arenít worthy to win
Despite the pain I fly
Fly faster than a peregrine falcon
Gallop faster than a gazelle
I finish. I fall. I faint
My arm was shot. Iíve lost much blood
Yet win I did. Surprise leapt out of everyoneís soul
Nothing is impossible for me
I am THE OLBLIBIRATORION
ok yh I know it is kinda long but I love u soo much for readin it . thx
This is actually quite good. Couple of spelling errors ("Compered" for "Compared" for example) but otherwise you captivated my attention. The last word will throw people off as it's virtually unpronouncable, but that may be part of what you want to achieve. You use repetition well and build up quite a pace.
For further guidance on poetry, I recommend Stephen Fry's book "An Ode Less Travelled" -he gives you a lot more tools and it's written in a friendly and amusing way.
Hope this was of some use.