AboutJacky Tustain Expertise If you feel bad about yourself or lack confidence to do or try things I can help you with techniques that will help you overcome your current view of yourself and develop more confidence and better self esteem.
Experience I am a Life Coach that works with people who are struggling to work things out for themselves. By helping them tap their inner resources and presenting a fresh altenative viewpoint I help them reinvent or rediscover themselves.
Publications I regularly have articles published on various sites and add to my own blog.
Question my 14 yr old daugther has very low self esteem.just started the 9th gd.and every day she say the kids(boys and girls)call her ugly and fat.and how they just talk about her .she has know friend and don't know how to made friends.she always say she is sick to keep from going to school but i make her.i just found all this out.because she told her father why she is so down.and she is crying and stay in her room on her laptop all the time.last year it was bullies she stayed after school for 1 1/2 hrs.in the office until i picked her up after i got off work.what can i do?where can i get help for her?she is very smart in school now she don't want to go.she is 5'7" 285 and 14yrs big 4 her age
Answer Hi Lisa,
I am assuming you are in the States and as I am in the UK I don't know what facilities there are available to you. I can however offer some advice for you to pass on to her. I've had to make some assumptions about the issue based on what you have written. Please do write again if I am off the mark.
If your daughter is 5'7" and 285 pounds by my calculations she is overweight. This can be changed and that is the most important thing for her to focus on for the long term.
She obviously does not like the way she is so she has a lot of motivation to want to change and that is also important. As her mum you can help her work through this.
As far as being ugly - we are all different with good and bad points and much can be done to enhance our good points and play down our bad. You can help her to see the good points and work on enhancing them, but at the same time talk to her about who she is as a person, this sort of beauty is only skin deep!
In the short term you and her need to speak to the teachers at school so that the bullying and rude behaviour stops. Your daughter needs to look inside herself and see who she really is, her real beauty - the outside is only part of her and learning to love this inner person is very important to allow herself to accept herself for who she is.
If she can start accepting herself then she will be able to face other people and expect that same level of respect and acceptance.
Make sure you always speak positively to her, show her your love and support and your acceptance of her. If she decides to lose weight encourage and support her, if she decides she is actually OK as she is then you show your acceptance too. (I'm sure you do this anyway - it's what mums are best at!).
