AboutJacky Tustain Expertise If you feel bad about yourself or lack confidence to do or try things I can help you with techniques that will help you overcome your current view of yourself and develop more confidence and better self esteem.
Experience I am a Life Coach that works with people who are struggling to work things out for themselves. By helping them tap their inner resources and presenting a fresh altenative viewpoint I help them reinvent or rediscover themselves.
Publications I regularly have articles published on various sites and add to my own blog.
Question I have low self-esteem, but I think I keep lying to myself and say that I have a normal amount of self-esteem. I know I am smart, and I am not ugly. However, I am shy and can't take compliments very well, negating people; I don't know if that is just being modest.
I suppose I am afraid of failure, change, being depressed.
Recently I haven't been sad, but have lost interest and motivation to do much work on things. I am craving to talk to people, which I do, but am kind of sad when it is done. I think that my only purpose is to interact with people. To be there for friends and family, but nothing more.
How can I gain confidence that I am able to do more than that? How do I gain some self-esteem and not be guilty of being boastful?
Answer Hi,
It sounds to me that you are craving reciprocal company, that is having someone there for you, when you are there for them. In other words a good friend! It also sounds as if you are struggling to find motivation, possibly because you have no clear direction at the moment.
The best thing you can do for yourself is to consider defining some life goals. Consider what you really want in life as a broad brushstroke approach, then think about how you would like your life to be in 10 and 5 years time.
You also need to evaluate your life to clarify the unsatisfactory areas so that you can focus some specific goals to improve them.
Once you set your goals you can refine them to short term goals and then start working towards them. When you acheive something you can then feel proud of your success.
The other issue you talk about is finding the ability to accept a compliment without dismissing or negating it.
When someone compliments you all you have to say is 'Thank You'. If you feel that is too self focussed try following it up with a nice comment back to them. Compliments make us feel better about ourselves. Compliments are normally based on facts. Compliments are a way of making friends and a way of showing you care. To rebuff a compliment could be seen as rejecting a gift. Think of it that way and you will feel mean if you try to negate it.
To be boastful is to puff up your achievements to the expense of others. Recognising others and your own successes or abilities is actually very healthy.
Be proud of what you have achieved in life. Then you may even find more motivation to achieve more.
If you want any further information about goal setting, motivation, life satisfaction and self esteem check out my website http://www.becandolifecoaching.com .
