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You are here: Experts > Kids > Kid's Problems/Advice for Kids > Increasing Self-Esteem > problems with finding somone
Expert: Jacky Tustain - 10/26/2009
Question
I'm a 16 year old boy who isn't terrible looking but just can't seem to attract people. After awhile i began to think it was how i acted. Im told that i am unny but am extremely cynical and morbid, I also think that i have a bit of a problem with confidence. What should i do?
Answer
Hi Tyler,
Not sure if you are saying that you are funny or that you are cynical and morbid - or both!
At 16 many people worry about whether or not they will ever find a partner or just a boyfriend/girlfriend. Let me reassure that there is plenty of time and it really is nothing to worry about if you aren't dating yet.
Confidence is important in building relationships. The secret to confidence for friendships is to just relax, accept yourself for who you are and don't worry or work too hard at it.
If you are concerned that you are boring, too intense or cynical try to ensure you chat about light hearted stuff and avoid the heavy stuff. If you find it difficult to gauge your conversation a sure fire winner is to get people talking about themselves and things they are interested in.
If you believe you come across as morbid then just try smiling a bit more. Not only will it make you appear and feel happier but you will look more attractive, friendly and approachable.
So, stand tall, shoulders back and get smiling!
Good luck
Jacky
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