About James Expertise I feel I am qualified to answer questions for women about men as it relates to dating, understanding men better, and how this may affect a women's self-esteem. Many questions may involve situations I might need to actually witness to give good advice on, but if you give me as much detail as possible I will do the best I can.
Experience
Education/Credentials I have my bachelor's in psychology. It is not a professional degree in psychology, but it certainly does open ones mind up. Also I have an associate's in business administration. I currently reside in Buffalo, NY if anyone cares to visit. :)
Question Hello! I need to ask you something, and I'm glad you're a guy because I need a male perspective.
I have been with my fiance Adam for nearly two years now and we are a very close and happy couple. We have many many similarities, but our dating backgrounds differ greatly. He is my first relationship. I never dated in high school or college because I was never into the guys who asked me out and the guys I *was* into didn't know I was alive. So I basically was kinda lonely until I met Adam. And he has an EXTENSIVE background of dating, sleeping around, and having "friends with benefits". Now, just to get this out of the way, I KNOW he is not cheating on me and never would. He is an honest man with a good conscience and all the screwing around he did before we met, he did while single so as not to hurt anyone. That being said, I have a self esteem problem and I get very jealous and angry and generally upset when he hangs out with females from his past. They are just friends now, I believe that, but it still bothers me. It makes me feel insecure and bad about myself that he still hangs out with people from his sexual past so casually, like it doesn't bother him at all to be around women he used to have sex with. If it were ME I would never be talking to any of those people again because I have HIM now and I would have no need to keep a friendship going with someone I used to sleep with. AWKWARD MUCH??? But he doesn't see it that way. He thinks it's normal and fine and they're just friends and there's nothing to worry about and all that. And yes, maybe there is nothing to worry about, but it still makes me feel really weird. It bothers me a lot that he does this. Have you ever heard of this before? What's your advice on the matter? Am I being too sensitive or do I have a point?
Any advice would be much appreciated. Thank you!
Laura
Answer Well, to tell you a little about myself first for perspective, I've never had a long term relationship, and have never been nearly as promiscuous as he sounds like he was. With that being said I see no problem with him casually talking with women he used to date and/or have sex with. I think it is actually kind of respectful to. I personally would not want to have sex with someone I had no intention of talking to ever again. That seems very cold. I don't think an exclusive relationship should mean no longer having friends or talking with people one once knew (unless these people are a bad influence, say they do a lot of drugs). lol. I don't think I'd give up my friends to date someone. Well, that's my opinion anyway.
