Expert: james52144@earthlink.net - 4/18/2009

Question
I have a problem. I have a brother who people have is said unattractive. I am worried about looking like him. My parents dont think i look like him and lots of people have said i dont look like him. No one in either side of the family (Him and I included) thinks we look alike.  But then a number of people have said we do look alike. Whenever someone says i look like him i feel very bad about myself.  When ever someone says we dont look alike a feel much better. It has prevented me from dating and keeping some friendships. Dating mostly because if he is unattractive than my self-esteem goes way down. Most of his girlfriend have either been overwieght and/or unattractive. I have had several very short term relationships with decent looking women and am occusionsally hit on. So i am kinda stuck in limbo as far as self-esteem goes, constantly going back and forth.
So it is a big delema i have. What do you think i should do?

Answer
Dear Steve

First quit blaming your brother. He has nothing to do with your low self esteem. Second, quit being such a victim. You are a child of God and you look like you, no one else. I think you should go help someone that is less fortunate than yourself. That will eliminate the dilemma. Good luck.