AboutRavindra Expertise i am in the field of self-improvement, hypnosis, natural treatment of simple disorders etc for the past 30 years.(age 69). Retd. Engineer and well-settled in life with good coping skills
Experience have been advising students and engineers for the past 30 years in career advancement, self-care and help and troubleshooting. very successful, as per the feedback.
Organizations secretary of Carnatic Hypnotists circle.
member of NatureCure Society.
Education/Credentials Engineering, Management Degree from British institute of Management.London.
Question QUESTION: Sir,
I am suffering a lot from the problem of not adhering to my
plans and having a guilty feeling later. Sometimes i stick
to my plan and principles but only for a week. For eg, I
had planned to work out everyday, i did it for a week and
then suddenly stopped doing it, don't know why. I had
decided to do away with Porn, but couldn't control myself
after a week's time. Its not only regarding my habits, but
in almost all aspects of my life. If i decided to stick to
anything i'm not able to continue with it after a week or
about 10days.On the other day i had vowed myself as not to
day dream and to concentrate in class, but after some days
i was back to my day dreaming. When ever i break my Vow, i
feel guilty and i ponder as what could be the reason for
this but my mind just wouldn't find the answer. Its as if
there is force within myself thats preventing myself from
following my vows. I don't know whether this force is lack
of self control or Laziness thats doing the damage. I
really want to lead my life following a set of principles
guided by self control, but i lack in controlling myself in
almost all occasions. When i don't follow my own set of
principles this guilty feeling arises causing me to hate
myself and i become low on self esteem.
Hope i'm clear,looking forward for your advice.
Regards
Anand
ANSWER: since i dont know your age, i cannot give you specific steps.
at an young age the mind is still formative and goes thro' phases which are illogical, indisciplined, and dissatisfied with itself.
also the mind takes the lazy route to protect itself against harsh realities of the world. looking for a reason would not help.
here are my suggestions:
no need to be too harsh on yourself, go easy and slow. choose one area of your life where you want quick improvement. in this area decide to stick to your plan. do it even if you dont feel like doing it. reward yourself for sticking to the schedule.
if you do it regularly for 21 days, it becomes your habit then and almost second nature.
then you take up another line of activity and so on. but in the meantime have fun, dont worry too much about being strict etc. you need to be mature to get all these.
Ravindra M.G.
---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------
QUESTION: Thank you for your reply Sir, I'm twenty years of age.
Sorry for not mentioning it in my earlier post. Can u give
me any specific steps for finding solution to my problem?
Thanks again
Answer Whatever i told you earlier still holds good.
here's a viewpoint
now our brains have different tracks. in track1 you get automatic thoughts, mostly based on your past impressions,feelings and trauma etc starting from childhood. say, if you had been slapped then this track constantly produces, fearful reactions,hatred,dislike,body pains etc: different things for different people. that is how you are feeling the guilt, laziness to take action etc.
there is another track, which you may have start using more often, which can voluntarily switch from one feeling to another. for eg; if you are feeling sad, you can force your mind to think of times which were happy and joyous. this is a switch accomplished by the neuron or molecule level of the brain cells. but this is easily learnt.
take any given moment, switch to a particular happy scene, recall the nice feelings, the sounds, the smell etc. within a few minutes the body begins to feel happier despite the reality of not having anything different. it is the capacity of the brain to be flexible and move the thoughts to another area.
this is the theory part which has found acceptance both in Indian Vedic teachings as also the latest research findings in the West: the mind is capable of being joyous, happy by voluntarily shifting the focus to something pleasant even if the reality is otherwise.
what you do is start practicing every day for about 10 mts to think of something pleasant. keep focussing on this. now if you do this often, soon you will develop the capacity to shift focus easily and your body responds. BUT the first track continues to whisper the bad feelings, which are not based on anything dramatic or real, so you say AHA this is my auto recording of the old, soon the overwhelming nature of this constant mental replay of bad feelings reduces.
all these may appear unrealistic but it works fine every time. there are hundreds of sites in the WEB which gives you tips on how to be happy regardless of your inner voice which smothers you with bad feelings. you can visit them just to get the things going.
All you need to know is that your self blaming and helplessness are learnt acts and based on the old beliefs which are no longer valid.
All your feelings, good and bad are made up entirely by your mind not by the events in the world. It is your automatic reactions and labelling which make the feelings bad and painful Nature is simple, fun and enjoyable.
