AboutRavindra Expertise i am in the field of self-improvement, hypnosis, natural treatment of simple disorders etc for the past 30 years.(age 69). Retd. Engineer and well-settled in life with good coping skills
Experience have been advising students and engineers for the past 30 years in career advancement, self-care and help and troubleshooting. very successful, as per the feedback.
Organizations secretary of Carnatic Hypnotists circle.
member of NatureCure Society.
Education/Credentials Engineering, Management Degree from British institute of Management.London.
Question I don't want to sound self-pitying but as this is a big problem for me I feel like I have to speak out and ask.
I'm a 15 year old girl and I'm going to be a sophomore in August. My freshman year was more than depressing; of all the girls I've come to know, I'm the ONLY one without a boyfriend. I've always been chubby (I'm 5'7"—5'8" and I weigh around 175) and I'm not even close to pretty, so I'm assuming the reason I haven't found a boyfriend this year is because I'm ugly and fat. Why else? I have never had a boy like me before (EVER) and I've been teased, ignored, made fun of, scorned and anything else negative you can possibly imagine from boys since I can remember. All my friends have found someone to be with; but I'm left in the dust. I've tried talking to boys but they act like I'm a disgusting pig. I AM ugly and I AM overweight, and although I try hard to make my appearance 'better' it has done nothing. How can I compare to the thin, attractive, beautiful girls out there? My school seems to be full of them and I feel like the ugliest one there. I cry a lot because of how I feel, and I just want to find ONE boy who will like me, just to make me feel like I'm not a total failure in life and that I need to kill myself (because I HAVE thought about it in the past.)
All I'm asking for is your advice. Thank you for taking the time to read this. I hope you can help me get through this before I do something that I can't take back.
-Jair M. Tollet
Answer at your age, this is not a major issue. life is for the long haul and not a few tricks and appear to be that which you are not.
i understand your feeling left out, but hold your horses and soon you will have your man or men. in the meantime remove the thoughts of other girls and their being with boys.
being with boys is no big deal. it is sexual chemistry. young boys get put off by tall and plump girls NOT because they are unattractive but you come off as domineering and mother like figure.
it has nothing to do with your worth. God has made you this way but you can make changes that make dramatic outcomes.
1) take up some physical activity like Jogging, Yoga, Exercise etc. Your body needs to be appreciated first and then changes made. a trim figure attracts the male.( nature, my dear, nothing personal)
2) Know that having a boy is just a tip of the iceberg. It is to enjoy Life that is the important thing. Be fun to be with and dont force the issue. make a few and dependable friends (girls or boys) the idea is not to have physical pleasure but exchange views, share sorrows or joys.
3) Learn to smile more often. this attracts friends.
4) there are websites which teach you how to attract a male; some of them give you good tips to approach and interest boys.
5) simply put, instead of worrying about the conditions; take action to better your appearance(dress, smile, fragrance, hair style etc)
and try to improve your general knowledge or special knowledge(boys love girls who are smart and humourous)
6) above all , wait. your time will surely come. in the meantime polish your equipment and skills. Keep the powder dry, as they say.
