Question I have a father who thinks I am ugly (seriously, how do you think your child is ugly?) I am in my 40s and you know unless I was stick skinny and long hair he can't say you look nice. Also, he doesn't think I know anything.
I have a brother who is very much -- if you offend him or his family they will have nothing to do with you. This has been going on for years -- so when you are in their good graces you walk around on eggshells and worry that you might have done something to offend them. Right now other family members are on the outs and I think I might be also. It becomes an obession amongst us.
I am sick by the both of them and have beening dealing with this ugliness for too long. I am thinking about getting on with my own life and If my brother/father wants to talk with me find if not find too. Also, not having much of a conversation with them. I am tired of the craziness.
Is there any chance this will aid in my low self-esteem issues? Do you know if my brother has a personality disorder because there is something wrong with how he deals with people
Answer Dear Pia
We all have parents who were wounded. That is why we are wounded. We do not have to buy into the lie that we are wounded. I divorced my parents long ago. I am much happier for it. I also do not buy into my brothers' BS, it has nothing to do with me. We suffer when we expect others to love us when they can't. So we must love ourselves without expecting love from others. It is a tough job, but it sounds like you can do it. Good luck.
