Expert: james52144@earthlink.net - 8/21/2009

Question
I've recently been dumped so I guess it's normal to have low self esteem, but it always has been low.

I think one of the reasons that I don't feel good about myself is that my ex also had low self esteem (even though omg he is hot, and yes I told him and still do), and I guess his feelings towards how he looked made me feel like he was only with me because I was ugly enough that he thought he had a chance with me, even though he says thats not true.

The problem is that when it comes to moving on and finding someone else (which I don't want to do, I still love my ex. But am looking for a purely physical relationship) I find that I can't talk to new people unless I'm on a night out and have been drinking.

I also feel that my personality would put off potetial partners, as I am quite firey and hot headed.

Is there any way I can learn to feel better about myself, so that I can meet a man without having to be tipsey.

Answer
Dear Jess

First of all, no one is ugly. Find the beauty within you. It is there, everyone has it, including you. I would suspect that it is the alcohol that is making you feel critical about yourself. Stop drinking for awhile and see what happens. Good luck.