AboutJacky Tustain Expertise If you feel bad about yourself or lack confidence to do or try things I can help you with techniques that will help you overcome your current view of yourself and develop more confidence and better self esteem.
Experience I am a Life Coach that works with people who are struggling to work things out for themselves. By helping them tap their inner resources and presenting a fresh altenative viewpoint I help them reinvent or rediscover themselves.
Publications I regularly have articles published on various sites and add to my own blog.
Question I have finally put my life in perspective and relized that I have chronic low self esteem. The effects include attraction to men other than my husband, a feeling of abandonment when a friend can't make it to an appointment or I haven't seen that friend in a while, feelings of jelocy when attention isn't on me and feelings of depression when I feel as though I have no ne to talk to.
My reactions to these feelings are always humble and pleasent. I keep them internal because I often feel I will bother or anoy other people with my problems. People often describe me as a reserved, generous, warm, loving and accepting indavidual. I jump at the opportunity to help others not only because I care for them, but I've started to relize I do this abnormaly often. I believe this is because I want others to love me.
I grew up in a very stressful environment. I am the eldest of three daughters. Although both my mother and father love us girls they hated, and still hate, eachother. My parents tell us they didn't divorce untill when we were in our adolecents because they tried to stay together as long as they could for us girls. They divorced in 2001 and have both remarried.
Without going into details, my father and his wife have banned my sisters and I from his house over three years ago. He tries to have a relationship with each of us over the phone, but it is now September and I can count on one hand I've seen him. It is his wife's decision so he tries to juggle a relationship with her and seprate relationships with us.
My youngest sister, 20, is an extreem alcoholic and isn't expected to live much longer from her antics. My younger sister, 22, has lots of selfesteem issues but hasn't relized it like I have recently. I, 24, am often the go between. I am the one who is humble enough to get along with all four members of my family.
I feel lonley even though I have a wonderful husband and good friends, all who love me and care about me. I feel I need constant attention and praise to be happy. I feel abandoned with no reason. I am sick of it. It comes and goes in cycles throughout the day.
My problem is not chemical. I've been to councelors, psychiatrists, and have been on several medications over the years. I have concuded that I do not have chemical depression nor bipolar disorder. I need some help and advice on how to deal with these chronic issues that are not going to go away. I don't want to feel abandoned and I don't want to run away from every man I feel I have 'fallen in love' with. I want to feel secure and loved even if someone is not showing it at a particular point in time. I even feel guilty asking you for help. Advice would be great.
Answer Hi Jessica,
I have a simple suggestion for you that you may like to try. As your sister is an alcoholic you may want to try a few weeks at Al Anon. Al Anon is a group for friends and families of alcoholics, run by themselves for themselves.
Although you may think that sounds a bit odd to pick up on that aspect of your situation the Al Anon programme is a great way to find yourself. Those that go often discover that they get to discover themselves again, creating a new positive life by working on their own behaviour, issues and low self esteem. It is often jokingly said that it is a pity that you have to have experienced the effects of alcohol to be able to go as the programme is so helpful for anyone.
Other than that I could write lots about learning to take care of yourself, being good to yourself and so on. You can check my website for this information (www.becandolifecoaching.com) rather than me re-writing it all over again! However whatever you read you need to put these things into practise.
Start looking forward, thinking of yourself and taking one day at a time. I hope that gives you a starting point. Bear in mind this will take time and effort.
