Expert: Jacky Tustain - 9/16/2009

Question
Hi there Jacky
My confidence is low at the moment, and i am quite shy to the point of having red flushes in my checks when i speak to people. Can you help me to get around this in any way, and be more confident?
Many thanks
Paul

Answer
Hi Paul,

Blushing is more likely to happen when you are not calm about a situation. It is not easy to just switch off the emotional reaction, especially if you are young and your emotions tend to be more unstable.

First of all you need to identify the situations where you are likely to blush. Is it talking to anyone, perhaps speaking up in front of a group or maybe when speaking to girls?

If you try to imagine that situation turning out OK and even practise the sort of situation when you are on your own you should find that it is not such a big deal. If you have a kind friend who is willing to help you practise in front of them you will also ease your nerves. Confidence comes with experience in anything, and accepting that it is OK to make mistakes will also help you.

When you are in the stressful situation make sure you take some deep breaths and relax your body before speaking. This is something else to practise on your own first.

If you are still struggling after this you may want to consider self hypnosis. This is a very safe way of learning to relax and recordings such as this: http://www.hypnosisdownloads.com/downloads/self_improvement/blushing.html#3766 (copy this line into your browser) should help you to reinforce a new way of thinking about situations and threby overcome your problem.

Jacky