Increasing Self-Esteem/Self-Esteem

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Question
Hello I recently turned 15 and I have come to realise that I have a low self-esteem. I have had a stutter since I was young and it hasn't really bothered me until this year when I had to do a prepared oral for English and boy did I mess up. The worst part of it all was that I really prepared that oral. That incident didn't help me at all because ever since that day I am very worried that I will stutter a word. I had  to read out loud in Bible class and I couldn't even say the first word out loud , I felt like a complete failure. I almost had a meltdown in class. I also have self-esteem problems because of my weight. I have been trying to lose weight since September and it's been going well but I wish it would just go faster. I'm sure what everyboy sees is a fat, stuttering nerd. I have also considered starving myself but my friends discouraged me.

Answer
Hi Anon,

Let me start by saying that it‘s normal to have anxiety and be nervous while giving a presentation.  In fact, public speaking is the # 1 fear in American with death being the 2nd.  And no matters how long you prepare and whether you recite in front of family, nervousness is common.  You just have to project to appear confident. Stuttering is caused my nervousness so you must relax and collect your thoughts before speaking. Also understand that stuttering doesn’t mean that you are a “bad” person.  Relax and speak slowly. Don’t allow yourself to be afraid of making a mistake because sometimes you will and sometimes you won’t but you must get back up and keep moving forward.  

As far as the weight loss, it took years to accumulate so it will take some time to lose it but you can attack in different ways to get faster results including: exercise daily (meaning make every effort to exercise: take the stairs, park far from the store, etc…) , make healthy food choices (organic if possible, eat more fruits & veggies than others, stay away from salt, canned foods, processed and fried foods, eat small portion sizes (think: eat to live and not live to eat) Don’t stuff yourself eat enough to be satisfied, eat every 3 to 4 hours (snacks in between meals) to regulate the metabolism.      

The wonderful thing about stuttering and losing weight is that you can control the desired outcomes.  Speak slowly and be as relaxed as possible and know that it’s normal to be nervous during a presentation and the others understand because they have been or will be in the same boat.  Best wishes. Thanks for writing.

Increasing Self-Esteem

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Brenda Douglas

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It would be my pleasure to answer questions that will help you to love and celebrate your uniqueness as I have a passion for serving as a confidence coach and answering questions that will help you to live a victorious lifestyle without compromising high standards. Growing in confidence involves developing cognitively, physically, emotionally, socially, and professionally. Building your self-esteem is a lifelong commitment that takes diligent effort.

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I am the Founder of Royalty which is an organization that empowers and refines women who are everyday leaders; through interactive workshops, seminars, and courses; a Confidence Coach, http://www.allexperts.com/ep/2042-101680/Increasing-Self-Esteem/Brenda-Douglas.htmor and the author of the Everyday Leaders blog at http://4everydayleaders.wordpress.com/ and Recognize Royalty at http://www.blogher.com/member/recognizeroyalty, http://contributor.yahoo.com/user/1839760/brenda_douglas.html

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