Increasing Self-Esteem/Self Esteem.

Advertisement


Question
Hello i'm here just because i'm having self esteem problems..
here are some problems i faced during my past life..
1.. whenever i saw someone i think he is better than me in style and confidence.
2..i always think that i'm not that good looking although most of people told me that i'm good.
3. i think that my way of taking isn't good enough to attract a girl.
4. i usually get impressed by person who has money and unwillingly i consider him better than me.
5 sometimes i think that i'm not good looking to attract a girl whenever i see an average person with a girl.
6. i usually don't express my feeling considering people will make fun of me.
7. i usually don't take part classroom discussion considering they will make fun of me that's why i'm considered moodiest person.
Can you help me please in order to over come these problems.
regards.

Answer
Hello Naqvi,

Thank you for writing.

Concerns:
1. whenever i saw someone i think he is better than me in style and confidence
Response: You are a designer original. There is no one in the world like you now and never will be so you must decide to enjoy being you.  Simply because the world wants to know who you are, what is your contribution to society?  Also, change your opinion and your thinking.  What you think on becomes a part of your belief system. And you act on what you believe.  He may look nice but so do you.    
2. i always think that i'm not that good looking although most of people told me that i'm good.
Response: believe and receive the compliments but don’t rely on the opinions of others to validate you.  Your looks are not your only gifts to the world. You have may attributes that make you wonderful but it’s up to you to remember yourself that you are clean, healthy, likeable, friendly, etc… I’m sure that you can think of more.  Beauty/Attractiveness is like a package deal, it includes: physical attractiveness, personality, style, demeanor, attitude, and character.
3. i think that my way of taking isn't good enough to attract a girl.
Response: I think that you mean talking? Let me know if not.  Girls/women are attracted to many things about a boy/man. See #2
4. i usually get impressed by person who has money and unwillingly i consider him better than me.
Response: Change your thinking. Even if you have to convince yourself that one day you will find your passion, raise your level of education, find a great paying job and learn to love life unconditionally.  But, remember that money doesn’t make people happy.  It gives you more options but there are people with money who are miserable
5. sometimes i think that i'm not good looking to attract a girl whenever i see an average person with a girl.
Response: Your time will come.  You will find her.  Right now, practice being a girl’s best friend without motives. And be open to receiving without judgment and remember that no one is perfect.  Remember that everyone has beauty; you just have to look for it.  Love is a choice. And, finally, be alert. Just like you are looking for the right girl/woman, he is looking for the right guy.  
6. i usually don't express my feeling considering people will make fun of me.
Response: It sounds like that has probably happened before or you have witnessed it and the experience has caused pain.  Some people are better at expressing themselves in writing, others through words/poetry, and some through actions or deeds. Either way, it requires you to step outside of your comfort zone and become vulnerable. Love is a risk. You have to decide if you are willing to take it.  Risks can go either way (in your favor or not) but, if you don’t try, you will never know.
7. i usually don't take part classroom discussion considering they will make fun of me that's why i'm considered moodiest person.
Response:  There are good people out there and you don’t have to agree with everyone’s opinion of you.  And truthfully, it affects your grade and it hinders you and others from learning and reaping the benefits of developing your minds to the fullest.  Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather, the judgment that something else is far rather important than fear ~ Redmoon Ambrose

I wish you the best because… You are Royalty! Serving everyday leaders who are Carefully Distinguished; Ready to Serve & Destined for Greatness.  Check out my blog at http://4everydayleaders.wordpress.com; become my friend on Face Book, 4BrendaDouglas; get advice on Increasing building self-esteem and Christian Living at www.allexperts.com/brendadouglas or follow me on Twitter… www.twitter.com/4boojiegirl  

Increasing Self-Esteem

All Answers


Answers by Expert:


Ask Experts

Volunteer


Brenda Douglas

Expertise

It would be my pleasure to answer questions that will help you to love and celebrate your uniqueness as I have a passion for serving as a confidence coach and answering questions that will help you to live a victorious lifestyle without compromising high standards. Growing in confidence involves developing cognitively, physically, emotionally, socially, and professionally. Building your self-esteem is a lifelong commitment that takes diligent effort.

Experience

I am the Founder of Royalty which is an organization that empowers and refines women who are everyday leaders; through interactive workshops, seminars, and courses; a Confidence Coach, http://www.allexperts.com/ep/2042-101680/Increasing-Self-Esteem/Brenda-Douglas.htmor and the author of the Everyday Leaders blog at http://4everydayleaders.wordpress.com/ and Recognize Royalty at http://www.blogher.com/member/recognizeroyalty, http://contributor.yahoo.com/user/1839760/brenda_douglas.html

Organizations
Royalty, Inc.

Publications
Elegance

Education/Credentials
Personal experience

©2016 About.com. All rights reserved.