Increasing Self-Esteem/public speaking


I was born with a disability. When I was growing up I was protected by my parents, ie never went visiting lest people talked bad of my disability, never got scolded like my siblings lest I get annoyed, never given assignments .

In school I performed very well but my class mates treated me with awe feared to annoy me, argue with me etc.
I am now a grown up and have a job which requs me to talk to people where communication skills are important.
My dilemma is that whereas I am able to communicate effectively in writing but not in spoken. When I want to address people I find myself forgetting words and not very coherent.
I attribute this to the fact that my upbringing did not expose me arguments, speaking, defending myself like others hence I am unable to speak effectively.

What can I do to be able to communicate effectively through speech.

Since I was most of the time alone and being avoided

Hi "Cold."  

Some surveys and studies have shown that public speaking is one of the greatest fears among people.  
But be encouraged because if you are able to successfully communicate in writing, you are able to communicate verbally as well even if it requires you to practice.   

Furthermore, confronting or addressing people is not always easy because you have no way of knowing how he/she will respond and frankly, you have no control over someone elseís response.  Because of this uncertainty, we tend to become nervous or anxious about addressing people.  Some even try to assume how a person will receive or react to the message but again, no one can predict the other personís response. The only thing that we can do is chose our words carefully; anticipate having anxiety but be determined to accomplish the goal of delivering the message; practice what we may say; and hope for the best.  

Anxiety causes us to forget words and not feel very coherent but you can have victory over anxiety.

- Take your focus off of the negative opinions of others
- Assume positive intent and have positive motives
- Prioritize the other personís needs and have his/her best interest in mind
- Be assured that your information will help others so be inclined to share
- Engage your listeners by asking open minded questions
- Use your imagination to become an actor
- Know what you are going to say really well

Just remember that if you are successfully able to communicate in writing, you are able to effectively communicate verbally as well.  Proper preparation prevents poor performances.  Practice, relax, and speak.  Best wishes  

Increasing Self-Esteem

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Brenda Douglas


It would be my pleasure to answer questions that will help you to love and celebrate your uniqueness as I have a passion for serving as a confidence coach and answering questions that will help you to live a victorious lifestyle without compromising high standards. Growing in confidence involves developing cognitively, physically, emotionally, socially, and professionally. Building your self-esteem is a lifelong commitment that takes diligent effort.


I am the Founder of Royalty which is an organization that empowers and refines women who are everyday leaders; through interactive workshops, seminars, and courses; a Confidence Coach, and the author of the Everyday Leaders blog at and Recognize Royalty at,

Royalty, Inc.


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