You are here:

Increasing Self-Esteem/regarding low self esteem due to my ex


sir, am a 19yr old boy, my relationship started when i was in standard lasted for about 2years..... i really loved my girlfriend a lot.... she betrayed me.... i will tell you whole story... my girlfriend was a nice girl but she is very stupid kind of girl.any one can fool her.... when i was in relationship with her she told me about her past.... her past was very painful.she was sexually harassed by many people in her childhood...even her dad harassed her when i was in relationship with her... i tried my best but couldn't help her.. she accepted me coz she saw me as a medium to recover from that pain which she suffered(this is Wat i think)in past then she used to talk to a boy 2 years younger than her and that boy had crush on he abused me 1 day and also warned me to leave her..... i asked my beloved to stop talking to him and dnt keep any kind of relation with him.... she did as i said.....but in a month or 2 she again started talking to him instead of knowing that the boy abused me verbally..... i warned my beloved but she didn't listened so i verbally abused my girlfriend.... and then she again left talking to him for 6months... after that last year i cudnt talk much with my girlfriend as i was preparing hard for my engineering exams... i asked her to be patient till my exams r over.... but she disobeyed me and again started talking to him.... this hurt my esteem to a large extent and i again abused a her a lot... and she broke up with me saying am an orthodox and i am bad.... was it my fault?? wat a man would have done if his wife used to talk to a guy who has verbally abused her husband and even has crush on her..... after that i said sorry to my girlfriend a 100 times but she didn't patched up... then she told she kissed that boy 1 day this made me more angry and again i abused her and asked her not to talk to me ever...but she continued to text me after some interval of days...and i asked her not to talk to me each time...but now when am missing her a lot and i again said sorry even if it was her fault but she says she loved that boy not me ....she had strong infatuation with me...... sir i cudnt forget that girl..... i truly loved her...i care for her. and wen i heard even her uncle molested her a few month ago then i became restless again.... i want her back coz i know she doesn't know wats good and wat is bad...... any 1 can fool her... even that boy now doesn't talks to her after that kiss... and she cant understand that he used her..... sir i cant forget her..nearly every night i cry when i remember her... i dnt even remember when i slept with peace.....from 3years am crying..... when i was with her then i cried when ever she was being sexually harassed and now m crying coz she left me..... was was it my fault.??. why am getting punished for loving her truly :-( please help me out.... now she doesn't even wanna meet me for last time..... my heart says get back to her but my brain says she is stupid and characterless girl don't go for her..... what shud i do??? plese help me..... am confused ..i want her coz i care for her.her past scares me the most and when i see her happy then am jealous that how she can be happy without me and when she is sad then am hurt coz she z my love.. vl i ever b able to forget her????? its been 2years now.. but i still see her in my dreams.. i love my present girlfriend a lot but till i cnt forget my ex.. when she left me then was left only with tears.. i startd body building to divert myself but still i have that wound inside me. i think i still love her.. my self esteem got low after she left me..coz i think am all alone now..  no one is there with me.. plese help me

at your age, 19, and in india. my advice is simple. Just forget about the past. Period. what you are talking is NOT love but infatuation with her body/personality. Real love is a long distance affair and takes in all ups and downs and you try your best to make the other person happy even if she does not respond.
just focus on your skills in earning and getting on with life. These episodes of teenage love are just a mirage. you will understand this when you grow up.
this is the best advice i have.
good luck.  

Increasing Self-Esteem

All Answers

Answers by Expert:

Ask Experts




i am in the field of self-improvement, hypnosis, natural treatment of simple disorders etc for the past 30 years.(age 69). Retd. Engineer and well-settled in life with good coping skills


have been advising students and engineers for the past 30 years in career advancement, self-care and help and troubleshooting. very successful, as per the feedback.

secretary of Carnatic Hypnotists circle.
member of NatureCure Society.
Advanced Pranic Healer

Engineering, Management Degree from British institute of Management.London.

©2016 All rights reserved.