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Increasing Self-Esteem/I always get picked last for sports!!


So I'm in middle school and every week in sports, we play a different sport. And the problem is that every single time we play a team sport like basketball or soccer, I am always picked last by a team.The only time I was picked first or close to first was when one of my friends was the captain. I know I don't seem fast or sporty to other people and I don't do ANY sports outside of school (and dont intend to) but I have several friends who are around the same skill level as me in sports but they are always picked pretty early.  And people in my class normally picks the sporty people first and their friends last. This gets me a bit upset and embarrassed cause I feel like I'm useless and not good at anything. I'm sorry if I sound too depressed here but I would like to learn some ways on feeling good about myself when if I still always get picked last. 😊😊

Hi Kayla,

I remember experiencing the same situation when I was younger.  But I had to honestly admit that sports were just not my interest and I was complacent in knowing that truth because, I too, knew that it was something that I had to do as a requirement but not something that I would pursue long term.  
Understand that you have the power to control your thoughts so make your thoughts work for you and not against you.  In other words, in stead of thinking about being picked because you're the worst player; convince yourself that you are picked last because they saved the best pick for last.  ALWAYS assume positive intent despite what things look or feel like.  Make your thoughts work for you and not against you.  Especially since you've said that you, "don't do ANY sports outside of school (and dont intend to)."  So there you have it. Do the middle school curriculum required sport as a form of exercise.  No one competes while exercising.  It is simply a personal goal/achievement.

Additionally, donít compare yourself, focus on others, or judge people's skill level because everyone has different motives.  I am sure that there are some students who will play a sport in high school, college and professionally. But that may not be your interest and there's nothing wrong with that choice- you are NOT the only one who intends not to play a sport after middle school.  But, until then, it is a requirement so make the most out the experience especially since there's nothing that any of us can do to change the requirement today.  Let the journey be fun and rewarding since you must endure it.  If you find reasons to smile and laugh, the journey will seem shorter and more pleasant.  But, if you complain and whine, the journey will be long and daunting.

In closing, force your thoughts to work for you and not against you.  And understand that there are some people who will pursue sports after middle and beyond.  Allow them to enjoy their journey and you decide to embrace the truth that sports are a requirement as well as a form of exercise that you are willing to successfully complete and enjoy the journey. "If you donít see yourself as a winner, then you canít perform as a winner" ~ Zig Ziglar

I hope that this helps.

Increasing Self-Esteem

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Brenda Douglas


It would be my pleasure to answer questions that will help you to love and celebrate your uniqueness as I have a passion for serving as a confidence coach and answering questions that will help you to live a victorious lifestyle without compromising high standards. Growing in confidence involves developing cognitively, physically, emotionally, socially, and professionally. Building your self-esteem is a lifelong commitment that takes diligent effort.


I am the Founder of Royalty which is an organization that empowers and refines women who are everyday leaders; through interactive workshops, seminars, and courses; a Confidence Coach, and the author of the Everyday Leaders blog at and Recognize Royalty at,

Royalty, Inc.


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