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Increasing Self-Esteem/Mind clarity and self motivation/control


Hello my name is Dominic. I recently endured a rough break up that left me questioning my own self worth. She claimed to of had loved me yet would lie to me time after time. She still claims to care but I seen her friend joshs'Facebook and his profile picture was commented by Lisa and him. He stated that she was his girl and she commented back saying he's her babe 5evr. That obviously crushed me even more. His relationship status was even changed to in a relationship. I told her about it about and she says she still single and that they're not together. Obviously they're a couple but she continues lying like I'm nothing to her. Anyways, this is how most of the relationship has been and makes me question myself because I've gained weight, I'm not the same, hardly happy, no self control. There's plenty of improvements I'd like to make within myself such as being healthy and positive and focused and have self control but can't because of how I feel about myself. It leaves me with questions like how could I let myself put up with so much torture and deceit and lies? 2 . what can I do to get back my self worth and confidence? 3. Should I keep talking to her or not because I feel if I do then I'd get that happiness like I once had but if I don't I'll continue downhill . 4. How can I be positive and happy within? I'd like to always have positive vibes and eat and be healthy. 5. How do I gain self control and motivation? do I get over her without the sadness?
P.s her and I have talked everyday for over a year and have seen each other I would say around 10 times. I've never felt so close to someone and made my everyday revolve around anyone.

I would like advice please and thank you.

Hi Dominic,

I understand from your writing that you have been rejected by your girlfriend and that indeed will be painful, especially if you have a low self-esteem start of with. People with a more positive self-image get hurt when rejected in love, but they soon start to look for a more suitable partner.  People with a low self-esteem experience rejection more like a disaster and will inevitably worsen the low self-esteem.

However a low self-esteem is not always what it it looks like - a problem of the mind - but rather a problem of the body.  Most people with depression suffer from hypoglycemia - a disease of sugar consumption. This is supported by the fact that you have put on weight which is a typical sign of hypoglycemia. It is explained at:

What is Hypoglycemia?

This can be treated by going on a hypoglycemic diet (

To get a fuller picture of how you can help yourself I suggest you read the following articles:

Romantic Rejection: Trigger for Depression

Treatment of a Low Self Esteem

Depression is a Nutritional Disorder

I also suggest you should discuss these articles with you therapist or doctor. Once you have treated the physical aspects of it may be worthwhile to study the self-help psychotherapy courses as explained at:

Summary of Psychotherapy Course

Jurriaan Plesman BA (Psych) Post Grad Dip Clin Nutrition
Editor of the Hypoglycemic Association of Australia
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Increasing Self-Esteem

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Jurriaan Plesman, Nutritional Psychotherapist


I have a degree in Psychology from the Sydney University and a Postgraduate Diploma in Clinical Nutrition. I am also the author of “GETTING OFF THE HOOK” which deals with the nutritional and psychological treatment of personality disorders. It is freely available on the internet at Google Book Search. I am interested in the relationship between nutrition and behaviour, and as a Probation ans Parole Officer facilitated groups for offenders, many of whom were alcoholics and drug addicts, sex offenders or compulsive gamblers, as well as the whole gamut of “personality disorders”. I am also the ex-editor of the Hypoglycemic Health Association of Australia Newsletter, a quarterly publication dealing with hypoglycemia and related health problems. Its web site, together with a shortened course of PSYCHOTHERAPY can be visited at:


Depression, Anxiety Attacks and Self-Esteem Problems, Drug Addiction and Alcoholism, Gambling, as well as the whole gamut of personality disorders.

Author of the book "Getting off the Hook". It is freely available on the internet at Google Book Search. My articles can be found at:

BA (Psych) (University of Sydney), Post Grad Dip Clin Nutr (International Academy of Nutrition)

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