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Increasing Self-Esteem/I have no idea what I'm doing and it crushes me


I'd like to preface this by saying I have no idea why I'm doing this. I was told about this service by a friend of mine who's used this before and she said it's massively helped her, so I guess I'm hoping for similar results for me.

I'm spending my days doing university work that quite frankly I couldn't care less about, and that I never plan on using again in my life. I have no motivation to actually do this work, so when I actually manage to attempt it I just feel like I'm grinding myself into the ground. I have no side projects that provide any kind of real value to society, and I'm never able to achieve the goals I set for myself. Of course all this anxiety about my self-worth is fueled by a girl (I'm a guy, what else would be the root of my problems eh?). She's the most fucking perfect girl I've ever had the pleasure of meeting in my life, she's been my best friend for the best part of two years and I am completely in love with her. We've been close pretty much since we started talking, she has an insanely high opinion of me, yet she's never been able to see me as more of a friend. I thought this was because she was in love with someone else (she is, and has been for over 5 years, they've never been together, he treats her like shit and doesn't care about her at all), but she's had other boyfriends that aren't HIM since we started talking - so what the fuck is wrong with me? We've been so close for so long - we'd be perfect for each other. She's certainly perfect for me. I've never met anyone in my life that's been more right for me. YET, she is completely the root of all my anxiety about my self worth. I'm not good enough for her, so how can I be good enough for anything else? I missed out on my dream job by way of a simple matter of where I lived (the company would have had to fly me out to America and start me up there), I missed out on my ideal University course selections. Nothing ever goes right for me. I don't have a purpose in my life, I'm simply living to live.

This idea actually made me contemplate suicide less than a week ago. I couldn't go through with it, I could never do that to my mum - my brother committed suicide 5 years ago, so I have witnessed first hand the pain that it would cause her. To stop myself committing suicide I took some of her sleeping pills just to get me out of that emotional state, I had to become unconscious. In hindsight this was an incredibly risky decision, but I wasn't actually aware of the dangers of sleeping pills when I took them.

I guess what I'm saying is that I have no idea what to do with my life, how to give me a sense of direction. I feel like I am contributing nothing to the world, that I AM nothing to the world. Would anyone even miss me if I was gone? Probably not.

I don't know if you can help me, I don't know if anyone can. I'm doing this because I was told it would help, and perhaps I thought putting it into words would help me. Maybe it has?

Thanks for reading if you read this far, you're a better person than I am. Keep doing you.

Hello Harvey,
I wonder whether you have ever expressed your feelings towards your girlfriend. You did not write that she has refused you and that you are still friends. I get the impression that your anxiety and your low self-esteem prevents you from putting the question to her.  If so I could possible help you.

You see if the low self-esteem seems to be the problem, you have to understand that a low self-esteem in not the result of what goes in your mind, but is an illness that may prevent you from producing feel-good neurotransmitters and hormones. Hence, you are stricken with anxiety. and depression, because your body (in fact it comes from your gut and not the mind) is not producing the necessary chemicals to make you feel happy and content.

One important chemical that is absolutely necessary to produce feel-good neurotransmitters is biological energy called adenosine triphosphate (ATP). Without it, your gut cannot convert the carbohydrates into glucose, necessary in neurotransmitters production.  The major cause of lack of the necessary ATP is hypoglycaemia (

This can be treated by going on a hypoglycemic diet (  Without that energy, the body will resort to stress hormones (adrenaline and cortisol) produced in the adrenal glands from energy stores in your body (glycogen) to get immediate energy.  But the overproduction of stress hormones unrelated to whatever may be going on in your environment is responsible for irrational anxiety attacks, which will ultimately lead to depression. Please read:

Beating Anxiety and Phobias  

Please read: Depression is a Nutritional Disorder

Depression is a Disease of Energy Production

Thus, what I am saying is that anxiety, depression or most mood disorders can be treated without resort to drugs by a change in diet, which will show its beneficial effects in a couple of weeksstart, unless you have been taking drug,

When you start to feel better, it is time to study our self-help psychotherapy course at:

It is important for you to also study the “values clarification course”, which is aimed to give you a direction into your life. You should discuss this with your girlfriend.

Let me know how you are getting along?

Jurriaan Plesman BA (Psych) Post Grad Dip Clin Nutrition
Editor of the Hypoglycemic Association of Australia
List of my articles:
Also at Facebook:

Increasing Self-Esteem

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Jurriaan Plesman, Nutritional Psychotherapist


I have a degree in Psychology from the Sydney University and a Postgraduate Diploma in Clinical Nutrition. I am also the author of “GETTING OFF THE HOOK” which deals with the nutritional and psychological treatment of personality disorders. It is freely available on the internet at Google Book Search. I am interested in the relationship between nutrition and behaviour, and as a Probation ans Parole Officer facilitated groups for offenders, many of whom were alcoholics and drug addicts, sex offenders or compulsive gamblers, as well as the whole gamut of “personality disorders”. I am also the ex-editor of the Hypoglycemic Health Association of Australia Newsletter, a quarterly publication dealing with hypoglycemia and related health problems. Its web site, together with a shortened course of PSYCHOTHERAPY can be visited at:


Depression, Anxiety Attacks and Self-Esteem Problems, Drug Addiction and Alcoholism, Gambling, as well as the whole gamut of personality disorders.

Author of the book "Getting off the Hook". It is freely available on the internet at Google Book Search. My articles can be found at:

BA (Psych) (University of Sydney), Post Grad Dip Clin Nutr (International Academy of Nutrition)

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