AboutRavindra Expertise i am in the field of self-improvement, hypnosis, natural treatment of simple disorders etc for the past 30 years.(age 69). Retd. Engineer and well-settled in life with good coping skills
Experience have been advising students and engineers for the past 30 years in career advancement, self-care and help and troubleshooting. very successful, as per the feedback.
Organizations secretary of Carnatic Hypnotists circle.
member of NatureCure Society.
Education/Credentials Engineering, Management Degree from British institute of Management.London.
Expert: Ravindra Date: 3/8/2004 Subject: hi I am hassan:
first...
Question hi I am hassan:
first i like to thank for reading this.My self esteem is very low and nothing i can do about it.I know I am a good looking guy but still over observing my weight and my look and hang a lot of my esteem on it.May be because I used to be buged by other people when i was young about my look because I was kinda fat.but now i am in a kinda good shape but still.....
thank you for listening
Answer the trouble with self-esteem is the waiting for others to give a positive feedback. you say that you are good looking. so the problem starts when you want others to recognize this fact and tell you so. there is nothing wrong with your wanting so but the world does not work that way.
also there is a better method.
in life there is only constant person who travels all along with you and that is Yourself. people around you change, others come, friends change and so on it goes but the constant factor is yourself.suppose you decide that your achievements, position, goals , characteristics are OKAY, then that is the best compliment you give yourself. Of course, good feedback is welcome and enjoyable, but NOT dependable and others are not generous with their handing out compliments. So depend on yourself alone. and to get your own approval, do the following:
* In whatever you do, do your best.
*Define goals, achieve them by action.
*Regularly exercise or play sports.
*Focus on your potential and not your actual position.
*Learn something new.
*Know that your position is not new, there are millions who are worse than in your position.
Ten Ways to Connect to the Confidence Within You (*)
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Working with a variety of people from all walks of life has given me
some insight into the process of success. Regardless of our
background, skills, experience, or attitude, we can't be successful
until we feel confident about who we are and what we're doing. It's
one of those cart before the horse things, since we tend to think that
being successful will give us confidence. In fact, feeling confident
FIRST will allow us to experience success and the achievement of our
goals. Here are some ways to connect to the confidence within you.
1. Be aware that confidence comes from inside, not outside.
You can't use others as a yardstick. Other people take their cue from you.
If you act confident, people will have confidence in you. If you are
hesitant or timid, no one will be able to put their trust in you.
2. Start with your strengths (and we ALL have them).
Make a list of your strengths, no matter how silly the list may seem at
first glance. If you can boil a 'mean' pot of water or touch your nose
with your toes, let yourself get in touch with how you feel about that.
That feeling is known as confidence.
3. Allow the memory of confident times to be your trigger.
It doesn't matter if it happened in the 2nd grade, remembering a time
that you were on top of the world, if only for a moment, can be all you
need to feel confident here and now, in this situation.
4. Confidence is like rabbits: it multiplies exponentially.
Once you start feeling confident about everything you do well, you
start looking for other areas you feel confident in. You also start
feeling confident about things you haven't done before. You'll be able to
more honestly assess your skills and expertise and give yourself the
opportunity to succeed. Allow the feeling to multiply just like all those
bunnies in that commercial where the gentleman has to get approval for a check.
5. Maintain an attitude of gratitude.
Gratitude puts (and keeps) a smile on your face. What's the first thing
you notice about confident people? They're smiling.
6. Identify your rules for feeling confident, then rewrite them!
If I asked the question "What must be in place in order for you to feel
confident?", I can guarantee that you will have a long list of conditions
that must ALL be in place in order for you to feel confident. If I asked
you who wrote those rules, you would answer "I did", although it may take
you a moment or two to realize that fact. If you wrote the current set,
take the initiative and rewrite your rules. Make them simple, stated in
the positive, and totally in your control. (P.S. There is nothing more in
your control than your thoughts. That's why #3 works.) One more thing:
make sure your new list is divided by OR's, not AND's.
7. Hang out with confident people.
Confidence is contagious. Actually, all feelings are contagious. Which
group will make you feel better? One that exudes strength, confidence and
positiveness? Or one that is constantly seeing the worst that could happen,
fearful of trying anything new, afraid to be embarrassed? Hang out with the
one that makes you feel like you can accomplish anything you want!
8. Completion equals confidence.
Finishing anything at all gives you confidence. The knowledge that you can
put your mind to something and do it is all that is required to feel
confident. Look around and finish everything you see unfinished.
9. Only you can kill the feeling of confidence.
Just as you can't find confidence outside of yourself, no one else can stop
you from feeling confident. Have you ever noticed that really confident
people are oblivious to your opinion of them? No matter what you've done,
it's only YOUR opinion that matters.
10. Don't worry about getting 'above' yourself.
Some of us don't want to get too big for our britches. We think that
downplaying our abilities is the way to go. The truth is that thinking is
just another way to keep playing small. It undermines our ability to
succeed because after a while we start believing that 'it' was no big deal.
As Norman Vincent Peale expressed it: "Believe in yourself! Have faith in
your abilities! Without a humble but reasonable confidence in your own
powers you cannot be successful or happy." I like that phrase, 'humble but
reasonable'. If you keep that in mind, you can't go wrong.
