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Increasing Self-Esteem/Questions Answered by Expert Zorka Hereford
| Subject | Date Asked |
| Is Lowering Your Self-Esteem bad? | 1/31/2012 |
| Q: I was wondering if i was doing the right thing in lowering my self esteem a little. I only do this ... A: When someone tells you that you are pretty thank them and enjoy the compliment. There is no need to ... | |
| Struggling with relocation | 1/19/2012 |
| Q: I have recently moved to Dubai from the US where I lived in the same place for 35 years. I have ... A: It's not unusual to feel disoriented and like a fish out of water when moving away from somewhere ... | |
| I'm always doubting myself and my instincts. How can I go about fixing this? | 12/9/2011 |
| Q: There’s this guy that I just met a few days ago that I really like, and there’s a strong possibility ... A: What you are going through is quite normal and understandable. The truth is you don't know how ... | |
| Lost Direction | 10/25/2011 |
| Q: First of all, English isn't my native language, so you may be seeing some mistakes. Sorry for that. ... A: In many cultures parents want their children to follow the plan that they set up for them. ... | |
| Custom Implants | 9/26/2011 |
| Q: I am usually really happy about my appearance but there are a few weak spots. I have looked into ... A: I have no idea whether people can tell when someone has had implants. Don't be surprised though, ... | |
| Self-esteem issues | 9/14/2011 |
| Q: My name is Dee, and I'm a 17-year old girl. I have a lot of issues that I've had trouble with for ... A: In reading your description of yourself I can't help but think that you are being much too hard on ... | |
| No dreams, no drive | 9/12/2011 |
| Q: I don't seem to have any dream, any ambition in life. As I write this question I am preparing to ... A: It doesn't surprise me at all that you have no ambition. You are living the life your parents want ... | |
| self help | 6/26/2011 |
| Q: I have gone through your articles, which you have mentioned in some of the answers.i found theme ... A: Even if you are not particularly good at anything, you must have interests. Do you like music, ... | |
| Life question | 6/11/2011 |
| Q: Is getting all that you want in life more exciting or coming to terms with reality that you want get ... A: The secret to happiness is that it comes from within. There have been many rich unhappy people as ... | |
| Fiance has become really self-conscious?! | 5/29/2011 |
| Q: Okay, so I'm 24 and my fiance, Spencer is 26, and lately, I've been getting sort of worried about ... A: Unfortunately, you cannot make someone else feel confident or good about themselves. The best you ... | |
| Self Esteem Troubles | 1/12/2011 |
| Q: I have a few problems that are making my life suck. First of all, I have extra weight, acne and just ... A: The good news is that everything you mention is within your ability to change, including your ... | |
| obsessed and want to solve this thought | 11/29/2010 |
| Q: i have been thinking continuously and still cant solve it.I keep asking to myself whether i have low ... A: I guess you can start by defining what self-esteem is. It is typically defined as: "a realistic ... | |
| stop bein scared | 11/26/2010 |
| Q: hi my name is monique and im 13 in the 8th grade and there is a juke party cominup soon and i can ... A: It's always risky to put yourself out there. Keep in mind that everyone starts off not knowing how ... | |
| advice | 11/2/2010 |
| Q: Zorka; My name is Gabriele and I´m 17. I would like to know some techniques to emprove and heale ... A: You bring up two separate issues in this question which may, or may not be related. Pathological ... | |
| life | 9/6/2010 |
| Q: i'm 14 i've been told teens are the best part of life but my life sucks and all i see when i view ... A: I suppose if you reduce life its the lowest common denominator it does sound pretty boring. ... | |
| son | 7/4/2010 |
| Q: My son is 11 and entering middle school in the fall. He has characteristics of autism but is not ... A: It must be difficult to see your son struggling. I can understand that because I have a son that has ... | |
| low self esteem | 6/7/2010 |
| Q: 'am 36 years woman suffering from low self esteem long time back but i only recognized that late,i ... A: One of the ways to build self-esteem is to respect and take good care of yourself. When you're ... | |
| Requiring help for my low self esteem and self confidence | 3/17/2010 |
| Q: basically the story is I have low self esteem and self confidence to talk to this girl I've met in ... A: Jason, Here are some links that might help. Have a look: ... | |
| Requiring help for my low self esteem and self confidence | 3/16/2010 |
| Q: basically the story is I have low self esteem and self confidence to talk to this girl I've met in ... A: I think you should still concentrate on your school work. Don't go out of your way to talk to this ... | |
| Requiring help for my low self esteem and self confidence | 3/15/2010 |
| Q: basically the story is I have low self esteem and self confidence to talk to this girl I've met in ... A: Your priority should be your school work and building a future. Talking, or not talking, to a girl ... | |
| What to do for increased self - esteem | 2/17/2010 |
| Q: Let's say I want to break the ice with a girl I just met in one of my college classes, what should I ... A: Breaking the ice is always a bit nerve-wracking and the only way to get good at it is to practise. ... | |
| self-esteem and excercise | 2/14/2010 |
| Q: Zorka. I'm 17 years old and I've been in a relationship with my boyfriend for almost 2 years. I know ... A: First of all, it's quite normal at 17 years old to have doubts about your looks and overall appeal ... | |
| having more self esteem w/ self confidence | 2/10/2010 |
| Q: I have a question about self - esteem. Let's say I was taking a bus to college but stumbled across a ... A: This happens a lot! Sometimes people are uncomfortable in unexpected situations. I know that I, ... | |
| better self esteem and self confidence | 2/10/2010 |
| Q: recently I message an old high school friend with an email but I get a respond such as: lol where ... A: You really don't have to explain yourself. You could just say "Hey I've been around, how about you?" ... | |
| self esteem w/ self confidence | 2/5/2010 |
| Q: I was just trying to find out if I have low self-esteem and low self-confidence. I've been in ... A: I would first feel them out as to whether they might want to go, or not. For example: "Hey ... | |
| self esteem w/ self confidence | 2/5/2010 |
| Q: I was just trying to find out if I have low self-esteem and low self-confidence. I've been in ... A: It always feels like a big risk when you want to reconnect with people you haven't seen in a long ... | |
| Finding my true self | 1/21/2010 |
| Q: I am a 14 year old boy, and I go to high school in Brooklyn, NY. I pride my self into being an ... A: I'm sorry to hear that you are still feeling so low. This is a lot to overcome for a 14 year old by ... | |
| If you are insecure about something how do you feel secure about it | 1/20/2010 |
| Q: If you are insecure about something how do you feel secure about it Any one have pointers on how ... A: In order to feel secure about any issue or decision, you must think it through critically and be ... | |
| low self - esteem. | 1/14/2010 |
| Q: what causes someone with high self-esteem,suddenly there self-esteen drop from high to low.i I would ... A: This really depends on the person. If your self-esteem is based on shaky ground and external ... | |
| Finding my true self | 1/5/2010 |
| Q: I am a 14 year old boy, and I go to high school in Brooklyn, NY. I pride my self into being an ... A: There is no question you have some challenges here, but nothing is insurmountable if you want it ... | |
| not tough enough | 10/23/2009 |
| Q: I have a problem with letting people walk all over me. How can i be more assertive/let people know ... A: This is a problem that many face and luckily you recognize that it's time do something about it. Of ... | |
| How can I be nomal again? | 10/15/2009 |
| Q: I'm a 16 year old girl and I've just started my first year of sixth form collage at my High School. ... A: I know that it is very difficult to fit in when you seem to be somewhat different than the norm. ... | |
| Tear | 9/24/2009 |
| Q: "hey am Lisa 14 yr old from India. Lately i've been feeling upset, well not exactly upset just ... A: First of all you are putting way too much pressure on yourself which is causing you to not function ... | |
| Irrational fears | 7/12/2009 |
| Q: I've been having problems with strange and unusual worries lately (i.e fear of being pregnant ... A: This is a self-esteem category and I don't claim to be an expert on fear or phobias. What you are ... | |
| My friend's self esteem | 5/18/2009 |
| Q: I feel kind of awkward asking this but I wanted to get some advice from a professional first. I ... A: You are a very good friend to Joseph and you obviously care about his well being. If he weren't so ... | |
| No Self-esteem | 4/20/2009 |
| Q: I'm a 14 year old girl and a freshman in high school. Since about two years ago, my self-esteem has ... A: I know from experience that 14 years old is a difficult, awkward stage. Your body is changing, your ... | |
| beaten down | 4/17/2009 |
| Q: I have been married for 2 years now. Prior to marriage my wife and I did not have sex - which was ok ... A: This is indeed a difficult situation and two years is a very long time to endure it. You have not ... | |
| problem | 4/14/2009 |
| Q: I know it wouldnt make my self-esteem any better but can you tell me if u think we look alike or not ... A: This is could be good news/bad news for you! The good news is that, to me, you don't look like your ... | |
| problem | 4/14/2009 |
| Q: I have a problem. I have a brother who people have is said unattractive. I am worried about looking ... A: I guess you're worried that people might consider you weird looking too. I can understand that, but ... | |
| problem | 4/14/2009 |
| Q: I have a problem. I have a brother who people have is said unattractive. I am worried about looking ... A: If you've read my previous answer, you would note that your looks aren't as important as YOU the ... | |
| problem | 4/14/2009 |
| Q: I have a problem. I have a brother who people have is said unattractive. I am worried about looking ... A: First of all if your self-esteem is based solely on your looks, you do have a problem. There is more ... | |
| Sudden depression | 4/5/2009 |
| Q: Lately I have been feeling withdrawn from the one person I care about most, my Girlfriend. I have my ... A: Given the circumstances that you describe, what you're feeling has got to be par for the course. ... | |
| I have wierd personality, please advice me about it. | 4/3/2009 |
| Q: I need some advice about my half human half machine sort of personality . The James bond sort of ... A: I don't think you sound abnormal at all. Some people are quieter, less emotional and more logical ... | |
| do boys like tomboys or girly girls more? | 3/16/2009 |
| Q: hey... i'm a 13 year old girl and i have a question about whether boys like tomboys or girly girls ... A: Some boys like tomboys and some boys like girly girls, but most boys I would guess, like a girl ... | |
| Need help increasing Social Network | 3/10/2009 |
| Q: In theory, I would expect myself to have a number of friends. I’ve been shy most of my life and ... A: Right off the bat, I can tell you that you're trying "too hard". Not everyone likes being approached ... | |
| afraid | 3/8/2009 |
| Q: I need to make a decision right now. I'm twelve years old, going thirteen. A few weeks ago I watched ... A: If you are 'inspired' to do anything - ABSOLUTELY go for it! If you don't you will regret it for the ... | |
| Improving self esteem | 3/5/2009 |
| Q: Could you tell me the best ways I can improve my own, and other peoples self esteem? Thanks A: This is a very general question with no specific point to address. Is there an area in your life ... | |
| loss of self esteem over years and how to regain? | 2/18/2009 |
| Q: I am a 21 year old guy and a lot has happened that resulted in the complete annihilation of self ... A: This is a very long, involved question with many issues here that include much more than your ... | |
| how to feel whole | 8/20/2008 |
| Q: Im now 18 and im still independently doing things. I have confidence in myself and very out spoken , ... A: As I mention in the articles you do it by: 1. accepting yourself fully as you are. 2. investing in ... | |
| how to feel whole | 8/20/2008 |
| Q: Im now 18 and im still independently doing things. I have confidence in myself and very out spoken , ... A: First of all, good for you for managing not only survive after being on your own from such a young ... | |
| my bad habit of depression | 8/2/2008 |
| Q: Hey im molly, 13 and my bad habit is being depressed. My dad left us a year ago bc he got into some ... A: First of all, it's understandable why you'd feel so down after all of the life challenges you've ... | |
| Self-validation. | 7/31/2008 |
| Q: After thinking carefully about the sorts of experiences that really upset me, I am pretty clear now ... A: Sorry Brian, I thought you were concerned about your self-esteem or self-confidence levels. I'm ... | |
| Self-validation. | 7/31/2008 |
| Q: After thinking carefully about the sorts of experiences that really upset me, I am pretty clear now ... A: As you are already aware, growing up without a lot of encouragement and validation from parents ... | |
| help thanks | 6/22/2008 |
| Q: i know it is long, also since u gave me a great answer about meredith I thought you could answer ... A: I'll answer these questions, however, they will not be typical to someone in the college age group ... | |
| Can I accept her final answer | 6/17/2008 |
| Q: Can I ask you something am I reading into this and can I accept her answer when she said I am thin ... A: Sometimes friends don't want to offend us so they say things indirectly or try to talk around a ... | |
| Can I accept her final answer | 6/16/2008 |
| Q: Can I ask you something am I reading into this and can I accept her answer when she said I am thin ... A: From what you describe of your conversation with your friend, I would take her at her word. The fact ... | |
| Dealing with depressing circumstances | 6/5/2008 |
| Q: I have been searching for job since last three months. I was kicked out from my last job because of ... A: I'm not sure what you mean by "the interviews I cleared with 100% accuracy." You can clear them with ... | |
| Dealing with depressing circumstances | 6/4/2008 |
| Q: I have been searching for job since last three months. I was kicked out from my last job because of ... A: I can understand how the events that you describe can be discouraging and depressing. You've put in ... | |
| How do i not ruin a good relationship? | 6/3/2008 |
| Q: I was wondering if you can please help me. Ive been in many relationships over the years, a lot ... A: The good news is that you are very aware of the fact that self-esteem issues are a challenge to you ... | |
| Stacy is 53 years old, her mother 82 | 5/29/2008 |
| Q: Stacy's mother says and does things that makes Stacy feel as if she does not know how to wear ... A: I'm assuming Stacy is your friend and you want to help her with this situation. First of all, both ... | |
| Can you help me? | 5/27/2008 |
| Q: I'm 16 and a sophomore in High school. How do you talk to girls in person and on the phone without ... A: I totally understand how you feel. You want to be yourself and natural when talking to a girl ... | |
| help me understand | 5/23/2008 |
| Q: i was lokking for boyfreind but not any more,because i put my self in guys shoes and saw it froma ... A: You mention right from the beginning that you understand why guys would not ask you out. You say ... | |
| straightedge | 5/5/2008 |
| Q: I am straightedge. But after this decision I found myself more distant from my friends and other ... A: At first I didn't understand what straightedge means, but now that I have looked it up, I do. At 15 ... | |
| ref | 4/26/2008 |
| Q: Good day, I recently learned that making friends has alot to do with raising peoples egos and self ... A: I understand your wanting to make friends and wanting them to feel good. Your heart and intentions ... | |
| What should i do? | 3/25/2008 |
| Q: I was bullied at school since i was 13 till i was about 16/17 Because i was quiet... i think. I ... A: It's clear that you are motivated to help yourself and to work on building the self-confidence you ... | |
| lost & directionless | 3/21/2008 |
| Q: I am a 26 years old female. For the past few weeks I have been feeling general malaise & sickness ... A: You’ve got some loaded questions here! Let's get started. We all have life choices to make and ... | |
| This guy.. | 3/3/2008 |
| Q: Hey, Ok, this isn't really a problem. But there's this guy who i have liked for sooo long and i ... A: It's nice that this fellow you like so much is already a good friend. This means that you know him ... | |
Increasing Self-Esteem
Answers by Expert:
Zorka Hereford
Top Expert on this page
Expertise
I can answer questions pertaining to a healthy self-concept, personal development and how to think critically about your life choices.
Experience
I've written a book "9 Essential Life Skills - A Guide for Personal Development and Self-Realization". I worked a combined twenty years for a top financial institution and a number one communications company where I acquired excellent leadership and training and development skills.
Organizations
Toastmasters International
Publications
Visit my website at http://www.essentiallifeskills.net to read my many personal development articles.
Education/Credentials
I've obtained a Bachelor of Arts Degree with studies in philosophy and psychology as well as a college Business Management Diploma.
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