AboutAnil Expertise Indian culture could be a subject for a lifetime, but I can answer general questions regarding the Indian culture. I can answer questions relating to relationships, family, religion, and education in the context of the Indian culture.I have lived in the US for about 10 years and therefore can answer some cross-culture type questions.
Experience I was born and raised in India. I lived in India for about 25 years before I came to the US. I lived in the US for 10 years, but in those ten years, I had closed ties in India, so I am quite familiar with the Indian culture and the mainstream Indian society. I have always been fascinated by culture and diversity, so I can give a critical analysis of some of the cross cultural issues. I have conducted culture related training programs to educate visitors to India.
Expert: Anil Date: 2/21/2008 Subject: romantic relationship w/Christian man from Guntur
Question Hi! I am interested in a guy who is from Guntur. I am 32, white American and have a Bachelor's degree. The guy I'm interested in is in his late 20's, has been in the U.S. since college and has a Master's degree. He comes from a strong Christian family in India, and we met at the church we both attend here in the U.S. After what I would consider flirting (hold eye contact from across the room, look away, repeat), I approached him and we had our first conversation, in which he expressed interest in attending an event that I go to. I am wondering-- could I consider this flirting? How much interest should I show in him (I don't want to be offensive to his culture)? Do you think he would have a problem dating a white woman? And do Indian men have a preference towards thinner or heavier women? Thanks so much for your help!
Answer Hi Stephanie !
Based on what you have mentioned in your mail, it does sound like there is some level of attraction and liking for each other.
Now, coming to your questions.
1. How much interest should I show in him (I don't want to be offensive to his culture)?
I really don't see any reason for the guy to be offended if you showed/expressed your interest (in a romantic sense). In fact, I would presume it would be quite flattering for him to know that somebody is interested in him.
2. Do you think he would have a problem dating a white woman ?
Given that most people from India have a tendency to be more anglophilic (more fascination for light skinned people), I really don't think he would have any issue with dating a white woman. Now, would that relationship culminate in the form of a marriage ? thats where I have my doubts. Most people from India have a double cultural standard. They have one standard for within the boundaries of the walls of their house, and one standard for when they are away from home. Therefore, I would like to caution you about setting any long term expectations from this relationship.
And then your last question,
3. do Indian men have a preference towards thinner or heavier women?
On that one, in my view, it goes way beyond the boundaries of culture. Across all nationalities and cultures, men (and women) have their fetish across the available spectrum. Maybe the degree of preferences for one type may be a bit more depending on the function of the mass media. In other words, that is a tough one. You have to ask/observe the guy to determine that preference.
