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Indian Culture/Marrying an American guy

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Question
Hello

I'm an 30 years old Indian girl and met an American Caucasian guy few months ago on one of the matrimonial website for marriage purpose. He is one of the best guy that I've ever met in my entire life; humble, kind, understanding, supportive, financially independent, educated, intelligent, ready to adapt to my culture, learning Punjabi language for me(as I'm Punjabi girl). I mean absolutely the right fit for me. My mother and sister(stays in US) have agreed but my brother(stays in US since 1995) is not liking the relationship because he thinks that culturally we're wide apart. He's coming in august for 3 weeks to India in order to get engaged to me so that he can file my fiancee visa with the US immigration services in September. Eventually we'll get married in US whenever my visa is approved. I seriously adore this guy because he has always been very open, honest, sincere with me, does love me a lot and vice versa. But I've few fears- will I be accepted in his social circle; once I get married to him will we as a couple be accepted with the Indian people living in US; is the cultural difference so much wide that eventually we'll start drifting away from each other; will I be able to adopt his culture? Please help me, advice me, what steps do I need to take in order to ensure myself that this is the right thing I'm doing.

Thanks
Harman

Answer
Congrats Harman,

That you seem to have found the right partner. Since your siblings are in US, ask them to run a check on his background it terms of job etc. It's always best to be sure. You would be accepted in his circle if you are both with similar kind of educational backgrounds. I would be blunt but it's difficult to get along if one is a high school graduate and another a PhD!! Eating habits, dress style etc can always be managed and molded, be observant. Ensure that you start reading about his home town, his workplace, talk to him a lot about his immediate family, his childhood days, his interests and hobbies. That will help you adjust better when you land there.

The one point which leads to all arguments when a couple starts comparing whose culture is better. So avoid this issue altogether, there are some good points in Indian culture and some in his.  But if you are very religious and expect him to change his views, that can lead to disaster.

Write to me anytime and share any confusions that you have in particular.

Best wishes,

Vani

Indian Culture

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Vani

Expertise

I can handle any query related to the history, tradition, folklore, culture, people, places of India in Asia. Am particularly interested in education at all levels - school, college, university.

Experience

4 decades in a country with 5000 years of history, that speaks 1600 dialects, and has a population of 1.2 billion.

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BA (Psychology), MBA

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