I am in Cincinnati, OH. A 35 year old Caucasian woman and I have 3 children from my first marriage with no problems conceiving.  My youngest is 18 months old.  I've been re-married and trying now for 8 months with no success. He's 37 and never been married or had children before. He is half white and half middle eastern. All of his siblings and cousins have children. His parents had no problems conceiving. He does take Zoloft and Valium for panic disorder and has used these medications for years, so there are some sexual issues due to the medications but he can ejaculate the majority of the time. I did just recently find out he had gonorrhea, probably about 15 years ago, which was treated, but I've heard having that can be a factor.  We have sex about 4-5 times a week and I keep track of my cycles.

If we don't conceive, we are okay with that, but if we do we'd like it to be within the next few years only because of our ages. What are the chances that he is just completely infertile? He refuses to go get a sperm count. He is a very modest person.

Hello April from the U.S. (Ohio),

I cannot answer your question because I don't have the correct information.  He absolutely needs to do a semen analysis, modest or not.  He can collect at home and submit the specimen (or you can submit for him) or there is a special condom that he can use if he is unable to collect by masturbation.  A semen analysis will answer your question.

Good Luck,

Dr. Edward J. Ramirez, M.D., FACOG
Executive Medical Director
The Fertility and Gynecology Center
Monterey Bay IVF Program

Monterey, California, U.S.A.

for additional information check out my blog at check me out on twitter with me at @montereybayivf and facebook @montereybayivf.  Skype and internet comprehensive consultations now available via my website for those who want a more extensive evaluation that this site can accommodate.


All Answers

Answers by Expert:

Ask Experts


Edward Joseph Ramirez, MD, FACOG


I am a specialist in infertility and advanced gynecological care. I can answer questions about infertility, gynecology related ills, menopause...virtually anything that affects women's health. PLEASE tell me where you are writing from as I am always interested.


I have been practicing as an Ob/Gyn and Infertility Specialist for over 23 years. Gynecology, advanced laparoscopic surgery, basic infertility, IUI's, IVF, reproductive surgery, and ovulation induction are all areas of my expertise. I am Board Certified. I have been doing In Vitro Fertilization in my clinic for 19 years.

American College of OB/GYN, American Board of Obstetrics and Gynecology, American Society of Reproductive Medicine, California Medical Association, American Association of Gynecologic Laparoscopists, Fellow of The American College of Obstetricians & Gynecologists

American Journal of Obstetrics and Gynecology, Wall Street Journal, Monterey Herald, SERMO, Women's Health and Fertility Blog

Medical Degree from Stanford University, Residency at Tripler Army Medical Center, Reproductive Training at Pacific Fertility Center, San Francisco

©2017 All rights reserved.