About SDW Expertise I would be happy to answer any questions regarding any situation you have with your inlaws. I have been married for many years, have been church affiliated and/or a staff member for over 20 years, and have counseled many people in that capacity. I take pride in providing answers that will give honest insight and concrete direction to go forward like many of the wellknown advice counselors. I believe that being a shoulder for you to lean on is important but much more important is advice that you can put into action to make your life better!
Experience I have several years of psychology education, many years of counseling experience, and have been very helpful in my own family. It is a wonderful feeling to realize that you have helped others and made their lives better.
Education/Credentials Many years of church counseling, Several years of psychology course work, BSA in accounting, and MBA candidate.
Expert: SDW Date: 6/27/2008 Subject: mother in law
Question My mother in law is obsessed with my husband. She follows him around, calls 5-10 times a day, shows up at work and our house, and is completely blind to it! My husband will literally tell her to leave him alone, and her response is " I don't have to" How do I deal with her?
Answer This is an issue that your husband should deal with. He should sit down with her in a comfortable place, such as your home, and let her know that her behavior is unacceptable. From what you have said she seems to be fixated on your husband and may be having some sort of anxiety relating to him. If it becomes entirely unacceptable and she will not listen to him then I recommend family counseling where a professional can sit down with her and find out what is going on.
Her actions suggest that she is having trouble letting go of her former role as a parent and letting her child be a man with a family. Sometimes when parents and grandparents get older, and are on their own and alone, they become lonely and begin trying to re-establish the roles they had with their children when they were younger. They may insist on being called often or begin using guilt to force the children and spouses to pay attention to them. It would be understandable that she may be lonely, being a mother is an all consuming job and it is difficult to transition from being needed to being needed only so often.
