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You are here: Experts > People/Relationships > Marriage > Inlaw Relations > What's best for my unborn child?
Inlaw Relations - What's best for my unborn child?
Expert: David Simonsen - 10/12/2009
Question
My husband and I have been together for 10 years now, and I have just found out that I'm pregnant. We are over the moon :) But for me there is a slight tinge of sadness, as I am unsure what to do about a situation:
My husband is estranged from his family, due to some very serious incidents when he was around 16/17 years old. His family were psychologically abusive to him for many years, and when he finally plucked up the courage to stand up to them, they kicked him out of his home and then set out on a 2 year tirade of abuse and harassment. He made many attempts to mend the relationship, but his parents were only concerned with manipulating and abusing him into doing exactly what they told him to do, and because he dared to disagree with them, they tried to make it impossible for him to live without them (he and I were threatened with a gun and attacked numerous times), so in the end he had to make the decision that they were not a part of his life he wanted anymore.
I always feel so much sadness that things had to be this way - I've always dreamed of a big, loving family for my children, and I keep thinking 'why can't it be like that'? I am playing with the idea of actually going to see my in-laws, and seeing if they've changed at all, and if it is at all possible to unite our families ..... BUT, a huge part of me's saying don't do it, cos my mother-in-law is such a horrible awful person, and seems to have some mental problems, and also has severe alcohol problems, but she refuses to acknowledge these, so she is nowhere near getting 'better'.
What should I do? I've never encountered such odd people or experienced such evil before, so I have no idea whether such people might repent/change, or how to act in this situation?
Answer
Ketherine,
I don't think it is unreasonable to see if these people have changed. They may want contact with you and don't know how to make a connection with you. I would strongly suggest you be careful in what you do. I would also suggest you don't let them know you are pregnant. Simply attempt some type of slow contact with them. Keep your eyes and ears open for for red flags and see what they are like now.
David
www.help4lfie.net
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