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Inlaw Relations/Am i wrong in anyway?? please help


Assalamu alaikum

I am a simple girl bought up in a simple Islamic family. I got married at an early age to a person chosen by my parents and other elders of my family as a suitable match for me.  My husband stays abroad and I stay with my in laws.

By the grace of Allah everything was fine for the first few days although some problems came by I just warded them off thinking it was a small compatibility problem. But things got worse.I was once at my parents place since i conceived but when my mother in law asked me to come i could not go because of my health. I tried explaining her the reason but she would not listen. She also wants keys to my cupboards whenever I go to my parents house. I had no problem in giving them to her and i gave them to her but she would reach out to my jewelry in my cupboard without asking me or at least informing me. So instead of telling her this thing (because i thought it would be rude) the next time i went to my parents place i didn't give her the keys and she created an issue out of this thing. i told my husband about this but he says even if you are right you should bear with this thing because it is your duty.

I have a bit of complicated pregnancy so i keep having health issues. And when i mention them to my MIL she tells everything to everyone who comes to the house that i don't have patience and i cant bear even slightest of the issue. Since it is my first pregnancy i don't know what happens and what doesn't happen during this stage and when i mention that to her she says to mentions it to everyone. It is very embarrassing. She did not even allow me to go for a check up with my husband creating some or the other issue. Since he stays abroad this was my only chance to go for a check up with him. just because she created an issue out of this ting and it was disturbing the whole house i let it go. But every time i come to my parents home she creates an issue and i get depressed. i am 6 months pregnant and i have cried each and every day of my pregnancy not because of my mother in law but because my husband does not support even if i am right. i feel i am left alone there. i listen and work according to every one there.

even if forget all these things when i tell my husband that i want to name my kid this or that he tells me that i am no one to name my kid. his parents will do that. i feel like a mere servant. i tried talking about this to my husband but he never listens. he says i am taking him away from his family by saying all this. he constantly tells me this thing and i feel as if i am wrong. Am i really wrong??


You are not wrong at all, you have a right to name your baby and at the same time demand that your husband be around. I assume that it's not possible for you to either live with him abroad nor for him to give up his job and come back. So there is a situation where you will have to compromise a bit. Buy these books whenever you possibly can, they are a big help :

Stop asking your MIL for any advise, instead call up your family's elders. If you are not happy, this directly transfers to your child so try and avoid any arguments with her. If your husband cannot be with you, is it possible to be at your parent's place in the 9th month? In some cultures the first baby is born at the mother's place, so you can convince your MIL.



Inlaw Relations

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Can tackle queries pertaining to relationship with in-laws especially in cases of love marriages, where both partners belong to different cultures or backgrounds or social strata or castes or countries.


20 years of married life, cross cultural experience, in India.

Masters in Business Administration

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