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Inlaw Relations/Mix mariage is about to collapse,

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QUESTION: Hello!

Am an Algerian engaged with a Pakistanni who's living in the uk, we did our engagement with my family, and he was in love with me , he was begging me to marry him, now.. after our engagement, he completely changed and treating me worse day after day, and am sure the reason of this is the following two things :

1/ we faced a huge problem with our documents of marriage, and our authaurity required for mix mariage to attet and stamp his birth certeficate in Algerian Ebassy of Pakistan, cause he born there, the worse thing is he lives in the uk and dosen't know anybody in Pakistan to attest it for him.

2/ i like laughing and joking, and that irritates him, and he said that am silly and immature and not made for marriage, but simply i just want to have fun with the one i love...

i need help from you expert, cause we're in break up and don't know what to do, he's not calling me neither txting me nor to come skyping....my family always asks about him, but i lie and say am talking to him, cause they will kill me if they know that he changed you know why?.....cause they were not agree on this marriage first place,
everybody in my relatives and of my neighboors know about this relation, and it will be so shame if we break up for my family and i'll kill my self if i don't marry him, i wanna save this mariage!!

Heeeeeelp plz!

ANSWER: Hi,

He cannot back out now just because the paperwork is a problem!! Why don't you talk to him openly and discuss all these issues? Am sure there is a way out even if he can't get much help in Pakistan. In fact you should run a quiet check on his status in UK, it should not be that some of the paperwork is actually missing? You would not want a marriage that is not legally viable, so do your own check.

He knew that you are a cheerful person when he decided to think long term, so what happened now? No 2 persons are alike, so talk to him and ask him what is it that's bothering him?

Regards,

Vani

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: I like you answer Vani you're the best!!! you could motivate me by a small passage!! Am amazed!
 do you mean by a quiet check on his status is i have to check if he's married or not!!!
he already brought all his documents even the one of single man status (No impediment cert)

i checked many websites , this one is the legal and the succesful one to get my visa to the uk to live with him, cause by those docs we can get our Act of mariage to prove it in the visa.

and i have checked that there's a mission in the uk that occupy by these stuff, but he said " leave it with me" and am waiting and waiting again

by the way he txted me yesterday to come on skype , but i was a bit cheeky with him when i visited him there on skype ,  is that wrong what i did?

cause he did not know my value when i was too kind with him lloll
i'll try to talk to him openly about what's bothering him...

thank you

cheers!

Answer
If all papers appear normal and legally valid, no cause for concern. But since he seems to be very secretive about stuff and also getting irritable for no reason, it's best to verify his stay/work permits etc.

Talk politely and do not play the blame game. Handle him with care and say that you are with him in rain or sunshine. He will open up and share his issues.

Regards,

Vani  

Inlaw Relations

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Vani

Expertise

Can tackle queries pertaining to relationship with in-laws especially in cases of love marriages, where both partners belong to different cultures or backgrounds or social strata or castes or countries.

Experience

20 years of married life, cross cultural experience, in India.

Education/Credentials
Masters in Business Administration

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