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Inlaw Relations/Fiance meeting the family?


Alright so my name is Alison and I am 24. I have been dating this man, Christoph, for a year and a half now. Heís 33, and heís a bail enforcement agent (basically a bounty hunter.) I was very taken aback when I first met him, I didnít know they were actually a real thing, to be honest. He has seen a lot of scary people, been in a lot of scary situations, and he is still the most polite gentleman you will ever meet. He is charming, charismatic, and he treats me so well. He brings me home flowers for no reason, pulls out my chair for me, etc. He is wonderful. His job makes things difficult sometimes; he works a lot of long hours, and I worry about him because it is a very dangerous career. Itís worth it, though, because I love him more than anything.

Well, he just asked me to marry him, and of course, I said yes. :) I live across the country from my family, so the only person who has met him is my mom when she came to visit 5 months ago, but my parents are more open-minded than my extended family. In a couple of weeks, we are going to visit them, and I want to tell them that we are engaged, but none of them have met Christoph, and Iím nervous about it. On one hand, he is very charming, and extremely polite, so I think he will have no problem getting their approval. On the other hand, I donít know how well my family will take to his career. They are all mostly lawyers or teachers, and very conservative, while he chases down criminals for a living. I just really want them to like him. Any advice on the situation?

Hi Alison,

My apology for a delayed reply and congratulations on finding your soul mate.  Do not approach this with any preconceived notions or biases - quite likely they are so impressed with him that they wouldn't even care about his career!! Just in case they do get worried - let him say the words that he will keep their daughter/sibling/cousin (that is Alison) so happy that she would feel like a queen!! Trust me nice words said with an honest heart, touch all. He could sit with them and chat about his job, narrate anecdotes, funny incidents, downplay the gory details. Let him say that how much he loves his job but at the end its just a means to earn a living and he does not bring work home.

Best of luck,


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Can tackle queries pertaining to relationship with in-laws especially in cases of love marriages, where both partners belong to different cultures or backgrounds or social strata or castes or countries.


20 years of married life, cross cultural experience, in India.

Masters in Business Administration

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