Inlaw Relations/Inlaws

Advertisement


Question
Hi,

Me and my husband live in US. My inlaws came from India for a visit for a few months. Recently we went on a vacation with them, and my husband tried to give the car to his father to drive (this was on a curvey hills and this is the first time ever for him to drive in usa). while giving the car to him, I asked my husband if he has taken auto insurance for him. He said no, I told him it is illegal and we will be deep trouble if things go wrong. My father in law took this very offensive, and my husband took it very offensive as well even though my husband knows that driving without insurance can ruin ones life. My husband stopped talking to me since then (its been a week). I tried to write him an email (since he is ignoring me at home) explaining him my only intention was to keep everyone safe. He wrote back saying I insulted him and his father by talking about insurance. So he doesnt want to talk to me at all, and blocked me from him emails, phones etc. This behavior sounds very strange to me as I only told it for our good. I also over heard a conversation where both my inlaws are brainwashing my husband against me with whatever crap they possibly talk and telling him she has no respect for her husband or inlaws etc. Now all three became one and left me alone. My Mil is still talking me like nothing happened even though at the back of me she was brainwashing my husband (I heard it from another room). I'm feeling very lonely now. I felt this behavior is very immature and unfair. Is it a good idea to speak to my MIL about this? if so, what should I talk to her. Should I say I will stay couple of days at my parents place or friends place since her son is not talking to me after this incident and due to brainwashing?

Just to give an overview, my husband is very attached to his parents and he is a mommy's boy, they are the world to him. He spends atleast 95% of his saving on them every month. He talks to them 3 times a day when they are india, and they often complain that I dont talk as much as his son, and dont care as much as he does. I do talk often but not as often as him as I dont even know what I can talk that much to them. I could tolerate all that but this way of getting together and going against me is feeling very unfair. Moreover he is putting a big pillow between us while sleeping after all these brainwashes. This sounds pretty childish and immature to me . Please advice as I'm very very stressed over all this, and my health is getting bad.

Thanks.

Answer
Hi Pri,

Hopefully things are back to normalcy at your end. You need not feel bad or guilty about what you said, it's better to be safe than sorry. The fact still remains that you were misunderstood. You drag this issue further and it would lead to chaos. So best way out, talk to your MIL and if possible make a sad face and tell her she is like a mother to you and you are feeling lost and lonely. That you were just being cautious and never meant any harm. Yes, its totally difficult but that's how the game would have to be played. Trust me she will feel very powerful and take sides with you. After all you just have to be with them few days more, right?

Regards,

Vani

Inlaw Relations

All Answers


Answers by Expert:


Ask Experts

Volunteer


Vani

Expertise

Can tackle queries pertaining to relationship with in-laws especially in cases of love marriages, where both partners belong to different cultures or backgrounds or social strata or castes or countries.

Experience

20 years of married life, cross cultural experience, in India.

Education/Credentials
Masters in Business Administration

©2016 About.com. All rights reserved.