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Inlaw Relations/Father in law disrespect


Beenthere wrote at 2010-03-02 00:39:27
Unless your father-in-law knows you to be an abuser or some sort of criminal, and fears for his daughters life, he has absolutely no reason to disrespect you - he is being a BULLY.  Your wife needs to "Woman Up" and she needs to do it and she needs to understand that he is also disrepecting her when he speaks out of place to you.  

I do not agree with trying first to speak with his wife.  If they live together, she already knows how he behaves. If she has not said anything by now to intervene, then it is unlikely that she is will.

I have been where you are.  My in-laws were given a green light to be idiots because my husband never "Manned Up" and said anything.  My biggest regret is that I did not say anything either. They have sinced passed on and I am so regretful that I   ignored thier awful behavior and just hoped it would go away.  IT DOES NOT JUST GO AWAY!

Confront him in an intelligent and lawful way. First, let your wife know that you will not continue to allow that behavior from her father. She should back you up but if she does not - shame on her. His behavior may have an effect on your self-esteem as a human being. I would not allow him to visit or call any phone in my home that I might answer until he is ready to change. If he intrudes on you and tries to visit, do not let him in - block his telephone number from calling. Demand your respect from your father-in-law.  If you do not confront this behavior it only gets worse.  Shame on him.  

Billie wrote at 2013-08-24 13:39:34
Get real ! If he is this way now it will continue. I say stand up for yourself and hold your wife accountable for not speaking up for you. Tell the man that if he wants to be welcome back into your home then he will have to change his ways. If not some boundries must be met ! When it comes to family and disrespect, that is where I draw the line. If your father in law cared about his daughter thean he would stop his crap. But I have a feeling nobody has made him face the consiquences for his actions in the past so he is not going to do it now. You must tell your wife it either stopsor your marriage is going to be in termoil . What does she want????

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I would be happy to answer any questions regarding any situation you have with your inlaws. I have been married for many years, have been church affiliated and/or a staff member for over 20 years, and have counseled many people in that capacity. I take pride in providing answers that will give honest insight and concrete direction to go forward like many of the wellknown advice counselors. I believe that being a shoulder for you to lean on is important but much more important is advice that you can put into action to make your life better!


I have several years of psychology education, many years of counseling experience, and have been very helpful in my own family. It is a wonderful feeling to realize that you have helped others and made their lives better.

Many years of church counseling, Several years of psychology course work, BSA in accounting, and MBA candidate.

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