AboutLe Anne Clausen Expertise I can answer questions about interfaith relations, particularly Christian-Muslim. This includes efforts in this country and internationally, especially the Middle East. I can answer about interfaith efforts for peacemaking and social justice issues, and I can offer advice on how to begin your own interfaith dialogue or cooperation efforts. I can answer some but not all questions about Christianity's and other religion's perspectives towards engaging in interfaith relations
Experience I have an MA in Christian-Muslim relations and I was a human rights worker for four years in the Middle East, including Israel/Palestine, Iraq, Syria, Lebanon, Jordan. I have also spent time in Central Asia, including Iran and Afghanistan. I am currently working to create an interfaith peace-teams based human rights organization.
Publications:
Before Abu Ghraib: Stories from a Human Rights Worker in Iraq (pending)
“Seminary Behind Bars,” Theolog, [blog of the Christian Century], June 2008
“Discovering the Hazara Shi’a of Afghanistan” The Worldly, November 2007
“A Nest For Kabul’s Street Children, and the Underside of International Aid.”
The Worldly, October 2007
“Be the Healers: Responding to Abu Ghraib.” The Lutheran, July 2004
Blog: “Journal of a Young Activist,” www.young-activist.blogspot.com (since 2000). Also www.christian-muslim.net, and www.seminaryaction.org.
Expert: Le Anne Clausen Date: 7/22/2008 Subject: Agnostic and Catholic - Can it work?
Question Hi Le Anne!
My boyfriend and I are having a problem right now and I’m hoping you can offer us some advice. We’ve been dating for about five months and have recently started having more serious conversations about our future together; pretty much the only major incompatibility we’ve found is our religious view. I was raised Catholic and am still practicing (attend church weekly, pray, and participate in holy days). My boyfriend knows all of this and is completely supportive of my beliefs. He was raised with no religion practiced in his home and today is agnostic without any desire to practice any religion or change his views. We respect each other’s views on religion and neither of us has any desire to change the other’s beliefs. Our families are also supportive of our relationship so, luckily, that’s not an issue. Our problem now is that if we continue down the path we are on and end up getting married, how do we come to a compromise on our religious views when we share a life together, and in particular, when we have children? It is very important to me to raise my (our?) children Catholic, attend church together as a family on major holidays and have religion not be a source of conflict or stress in our house. My boyfriend has compromised with me on all of these things. Our plan is for me to raise our children Catholic and take them to church with me weekly. He will come with us twice a year and on special occasions as long as I don’t ask him to participate in religion any more than that. We haven’t figured out a compromise on family prayer yet, though. We both know that interfaith marriages with children can work, but we wonder how? What common issues are we forgetting to discuss? How do you explain to children that Mom’s religious and Dad’s not? When you get the question: “I don’t want to go to church. Dad doesn’t go to church so why do I have to go?” what do you say? How does raising children in an interfaith relationship work? Any advice or conversation starters you can offer us would be very helpful. We know there’s a compromise out there, we’re just trying to find it.
Thanks so much,
Erin
Answer Greetings Erin, and thanks for your question. This is a situation I hear a lot about these days, and for your particular situation, I think there is hope. First of all, your guy supports your beliefs, even though he has other beliefs. Your families are also supportive. Now, regarding children, you actually have negotiated out a system that seems to work well with other families in the same situation. And, you've actually answered some of the questions you raise: it'll be hard, but you do simply explain that Mom's religious and Dad has different beliefs. You can pray with them before bed, and Dad can do something with them just before or after, like reading stories. This way, they have formative time with both of you. And, you might just say when they ask why they have to go to church, that they will be free to choose as adults, but in the meantime, they go to church, and then they can come home to spend some special time with Dad --again, stories, or nature walks, or something like this; hopefully one where he talks about his values as a whole, beyond just 'not going to church.' This would probably be the best of both worlds, and a lot more than many parents in agreement on religious beliefs do.
I hope this helps! Good luck to you! Please let me know if I can help with other questions.
