AboutLe Anne Clausen Expertise I can answer questions about interfaith relations, particularly Christian-Muslim. This includes efforts in this country and internationally, especially the Middle East. I can answer about interfaith efforts for peacemaking and social justice issues, and I can offer advice on how to begin your own interfaith dialogue or cooperation efforts. I can answer some but not all questions about Christianity's and other religion's perspectives towards engaging in interfaith relations
Experience I have an MA in Christian-Muslim relations and I was a human rights worker for four years in the Middle East, including Israel/Palestine, Iraq, Syria, Lebanon, Jordan. I have also spent time in Central Asia, including Iran and Afghanistan. I am currently working to create an interfaith peace-teams based human rights organization.
Publications:
Before Abu Ghraib: Stories from a Human Rights Worker in Iraq (pending)
“Seminary Behind Bars,” Theolog, [blog of the Christian Century], June 2008
“Discovering the Hazara Shi’a of Afghanistan” The Worldly, November 2007
“A Nest For Kabul’s Street Children, and the Underside of International Aid.”
The Worldly, October 2007
“Be the Healers: Responding to Abu Ghraib.” The Lutheran, July 2004
Blog: “Journal of a Young Activist,” www.young-activist.blogspot.com (since 2000). Also www.christian-muslim.net, and www.seminaryaction.org.
Expert: Le Anne Clausen Date: 10/25/2007 Subject: Christain Muslum relationships
Question I am a Christian woman who is engaged to a Muslim man, we have been in a relationship for about a year and we are now living together. It was hard at first for my family to accept the relationship being that my grandfather, two uncles and an aunt are all ministers. My fiancé still has not told his family and Im wondering if there is more to the story that what is lead on. He says that his family wont understand and they are more conservative than mine, all the while his family is still trying to arrange a marriage for him. Please help me understand the difference, and what religious obligations he holds.
Anxiously awaiting your response, Amanda
Answer Greetings Amanda, and thanks for your question. Oh, dear, it does sound like you are in a pickle. If you are indeed engaged, then his family needs to know immediately. I'm afraid a grown man does not intend to marry you if he hasn't announced the engagement to his family; it's a major event. Do you have a date, place, and time at which you will be getting married? An engagement generally does not last longer than a year before the wedding. Even in Iraq, a war did not interfere with setting a time to get married. And it would be extremely out of order for a Muslim man to be living with you and trying to hide this from his family. These are not circumstances that bode well for an actual marriage taking place, let alone a happy one.
I am so sorry that you are finding yourself in this situation! I would recommend re-establishing your boundaries and expectations immediately. My best advice is for you to find separate living arrangements and make it clear that he needs to be honest with his family about you or it's over. I would advise to call it off altogether already, but perhaps setting the limits firmly now will prompt him to live up to his obligations both to his family and to you. It's a long shot, but it might work. Otherwise, I'm afraid he has misled you greatly.
My very best of luck to you in this difficult situation. I hope that you will let me know how things go and if there is anything else I can do.
