AboutLe Anne Clausen Expertise I can answer questions about interfaith relations, particularly Christian-Muslim. This includes efforts in this country and internationally, especially the Middle East. I can answer about interfaith efforts for peacemaking and social justice issues, and I can offer advice on how to begin your own interfaith dialogue or cooperation efforts. I can answer some but not all questions about Christianity's and other religion's perspectives towards engaging in interfaith relations
Experience I have an MA in Christian-Muslim relations and I was a human rights worker for four years in the Middle East, including Israel/Palestine, Iraq, Syria, Lebanon, Jordan. I have also spent time in Central Asia, including Iran and Afghanistan. I am currently working to create an interfaith peace-teams based human rights organization.
Publications:
Before Abu Ghraib: Stories from a Human Rights Worker in Iraq (pending)
“Seminary Behind Bars,” Theolog, [blog of the Christian Century], June 2008
“Discovering the Hazara Shi’a of Afghanistan” The Worldly, November 2007
“A Nest For Kabul’s Street Children, and the Underside of International Aid.”
The Worldly, October 2007
“Be the Healers: Responding to Abu Ghraib.” The Lutheran, July 2004
Blog: “Journal of a Young Activist,” www.young-activist.blogspot.com (since 2000). Also www.christian-muslim.net, and www.seminaryaction.org.
Expert: Le Anne Clausen Date: 9/12/2007 Subject: Christian-Kabyle relationships
Question Hello, first of all thank you for the possibility to ask the question. I am in relationships with Kabyle (the nation whose homeland is in the northeastern Algeria). My boyfriend claims that he is not an Arab and that his culture is different from the Arab part of Algeria, however from his behavior I can see that he is similar to Arabs (he is willing to give only Kabyle names to our future children, to bring them up as he wants, woman does not have a primary right in the house and other..). With the progress of our relationships I notice that I am less and less able to prove my point and that in the end he is always right. It makes me feel depressed and not able to express my opinion. I am afraid that after marriage things can get even worth and that i will be totally dependent on his opinion. Can you please advice on the Kabyle culture and if it is really that different from arabs; otherwise, what do you think can I do to establish the equality in relationships and to overcome his pride which appears in every day life? i thank you in advance for your reply.
Answer Greetings Maria, and thanks for your question. It sounds as though you are in a really difficult situation. This is actually a case where more information on the Kabyle culture probably will not make things much better for you. The relationship you are describing is not a very healthy one, regardless of culture, and I believe you are right that things will not improve after marriage. A good marriage is built on an ability for both partners to compromise and share, not just one person. He needs to respect your culture and your thoughts as much as you respect his. You also need to have rights in your home. If you are Muslim, you can specify these in a marriage contract. But, that may be a little late to address these issues.
Given what's happening, I would strongly recommend for you to seek a person in your community for help. Are you in the U.S.? If the two of you would like to stay together and have a good marriage, you should seek the help of a relationship counselor to create more equality. This can be a long process, but worthwhile. Otherwise, it's also important for you to consider whether you would want to be in a relationship with him if he does not change. There is always time to back out if you feel you are not being treated respectfully. It's never too late.
I hope this helps! Good luck to you as you work through this difficult problem. Please let me know if there's anything else I can do to be of help.
