AboutLe Anne Clausen Expertise I can answer questions about interfaith relations, particularly Christian-Muslim. This includes efforts in this country and internationally, especially the Middle East. I can answer about interfaith efforts for peacemaking and social justice issues, and I can offer advice on how to begin your own interfaith dialogue or cooperation efforts. I can answer some but not all questions about Christianity's and other religion's perspectives towards engaging in interfaith relations
Experience I have an MA in Christian-Muslim relations and I was a human rights worker for four years in the Middle East, including Israel/Palestine, Iraq, Syria, Lebanon, Jordan. I have also spent time in Central Asia, including Iran and Afghanistan. I am currently working to create an interfaith peace-teams based human rights organization.
Publications:
Before Abu Ghraib: Stories from a Human Rights Worker in Iraq (pending)
“Seminary Behind Bars,” Theolog, [blog of the Christian Century], June 2008
“Discovering the Hazara Shi’a of Afghanistan” The Worldly, November 2007
“A Nest For Kabul’s Street Children, and the Underside of International Aid.”
The Worldly, October 2007
“Be the Healers: Responding to Abu Ghraib.” The Lutheran, July 2004
Blog: “Journal of a Young Activist,” www.young-activist.blogspot.com (since 2000). Also www.christian-muslim.net, and www.seminaryaction.org.
Question Before i started going out with my g/f (21y.o now)i knew that she was religious (Christian) and i am catholic but don't go to church. We went out for 2 1/2 years and then she broke up with me (27 y.o now) with the reason being that told god told her to end the relationship. i saw her a couple of weeks ago and we hit it off and she is willing to get back together with me (even marriage)on the conditions that 1) no sex before marriage, which i can live with. 2) That i go to church with her so that we are on the same page as her and that i give god a go. I don't like going to her church which i have told her, She does not know if she can live with God not being the center my life as it is hers. If i do go to church i go to my church. I would love to get back with her as i think that she is the one, but i am a bit unsure as she is my first serious g/f. What do you think?
Thanks,
David
Answer Greetings David, and thanks for your question. It sounds like there are several concerns to work through in your situation. If I understand you right, your ex is currently 21 years old and you are currently 27 years old, and you began dating when she was 18 or 19. I mention this because this is the age range where many women are still struggling with their spirituality as well as other aspects of their identity, and space has to be given for this to happen. I saw it in many of my friends, who have unfortunately since divorced--since they committed to a relationship with another person, before they even knew who they were going to be yet. The age difference between the woman and the man tends to add strain to this identity and spirituality development, I've observed. So it is good to give this time and space.
Since she is your first serious girlfriend, I also recommend that during this time of giving space, you could remain friends but date other people, just to develop a few more of the communication skills and relationship experience that would be helpful to a successful long-term relationship.
If you feel strongly she will be 'the one,' I recommend doing some deep talking about your religious differences. You want to be sure that each of you is respecting each others' religious backgrounds--there's no reason not to do so within the Christian tradition. If you enter a serious relationship together again, and you're willing to consider attending church regularly (this is very helpful to longevity and healthy marriages), that you both look around for a church that both of you like. Sometimes for a Catholic and a non-Catholic, Episcopalian is a good choice, or Lutheran. However, look for a place where you both feel welcome, where you're able to ask questions and hold different opinions, and that has people and a pastor you feel comfortable with.
I hope this helps! Good luck to you both, and do let me know if there's any further questions I can help with.
