AboutLe Anne Clausen Expertise I can answer questions about interfaith relations, particularly Christian-Muslim. This includes efforts in this country and internationally, especially the Middle East. I can answer about interfaith efforts for peacemaking and social justice issues, and I can offer advice on how to begin your own interfaith dialogue or cooperation efforts. I can answer some but not all questions about Christianity's and other religion's perspectives towards engaging in interfaith relations
Experience I have an MA in Christian-Muslim relations and I was a human rights worker for four years in the Middle East, including Israel/Palestine, Iraq, Syria, Lebanon, Jordan. I have also spent time in Central Asia, including Iran and Afghanistan. I am currently working to create an interfaith peace-teams based human rights organization.
Publications:
Before Abu Ghraib: Stories from a Human Rights Worker in Iraq (pending)
“Seminary Behind Bars,” Theolog, [blog of the Christian Century], June 2008
“Discovering the Hazara Shi’a of Afghanistan” The Worldly, November 2007
“A Nest For Kabul’s Street Children, and the Underside of International Aid.”
The Worldly, October 2007
“Be the Healers: Responding to Abu Ghraib.” The Lutheran, July 2004
Blog: “Journal of a Young Activist,” www.young-activist.blogspot.com (since 2000). Also www.christian-muslim.net, and www.seminaryaction.org.
Expert: Le Anne Clausen Date: 6/29/2007 Subject: Muslim - Catholic relationship
Question Hi!
I'm Mariam (as he calls me) I come from a Catholic background and I met this guy Mohammed who rocked my World. It's amazing how we connect emotionally. We've been really best friends for really long time till we started talking about "us" but in a funny way (i.e. What we will call our children, and we mixed traditional Muslim and Christian names and we had a good laugh. etc.). One day he confessed me that he had feelings for me and to tell the truth, I felt the same. We've talked a couple of times of being together but the same topics always came up: my religion and children. To this I answered that I had no problems with being a Muslim, but I had some restriction like the use of the scarf. And with the children, being myself a Muslim, our children will adopt the same religion. He mentioned a couple of times that he would try to make me change (in terms of scarf, clothes, my habits, work...). My question is: is his duty to convert me fully to Islam? I fear that seeing that I stick to my life style, he feels frustrated. Another point is his jealousy, are all Muslim men very jealous? How do they feel about women working? In general, are they sweet? I should probably mention that he comes from a Saudi family. How should I expect he manages about sex? Will his family be an obstacle in our relationship?
Another thing that freaks me out is that after we talk about the impotant issued (religion children etc.) and it seems we have it all worked it out, he does nothing. Does he wait for me to do the first move?
I would appreciate any words you have for me!
Answer Hi Mariam, and thanks for your question. This sounds like a confusing and frustrating situation. While not all Muslim men would feel as hard-pressed to change their non-Muslim wife's personal habits and religion, Mohammed seems particularly intent on doing so. It is not natural to be so jealous, and this is probably what concerns me most about your letter--it also seems to connect with your making concessions and his not stepping up to the plate. It may mean that he is either not that serious, or doesn't think the relationship will actually work well between you and his own family and immediate community. Many Muslim women do work, although not in Saudi as it is a more conservative country.
The best advice I could probably give you at this time is to step back and exercise caution. You've already done well to ask questions, and to assert your boundaries around the headscarf and working, etc. It may be that your mutual feelings will not be able to translate into a healthy long-term relationship in which both of you can feel secure and comfortable.
I hope this helps. Good luck to you in whatever you decide. If there's anything else I can help with, please let me know.
