AboutLe Anne Clausen Expertise I can answer questions about interfaith relations, particularly Christian-Muslim. This includes efforts in this country and internationally, especially the Middle East. I can answer about interfaith efforts for peacemaking and social justice issues, and I can offer advice on how to begin your own interfaith dialogue or cooperation efforts. I can answer some but not all questions about Christianity's and other religion's perspectives towards engaging in interfaith relations
Experience I have an MA in Christian-Muslim relations and I was a human rights worker for four years in the Middle East, including Israel/Palestine, Iraq, Syria, Lebanon, Jordan. I have also spent time in Central Asia, including Iran and Afghanistan. I am currently working to create an interfaith peace-teams based human rights organization.
Publications:
Before Abu Ghraib: Stories from a Human Rights Worker in Iraq (pending)
“Seminary Behind Bars,” Theolog, [blog of the Christian Century], June 2008
“Discovering the Hazara Shi’a of Afghanistan” The Worldly, November 2007
“A Nest For Kabul’s Street Children, and the Underside of International Aid.”
The Worldly, October 2007
“Be the Healers: Responding to Abu Ghraib.” The Lutheran, July 2004
Blog: “Journal of a Young Activist,” www.young-activist.blogspot.com (since 2000). Also www.christian-muslim.net, and www.seminaryaction.org.
Expert: Le Anne Clausen Date: 10/17/2007 Subject: muslim/catholic-we need a plan to make things work
Question QUESTION: hello, my names ahmad. i'm a muslim man and i'm crazy about this girl but she's a christian. i'm telling you we're perfect for each other. now we both want to marry each other. religion isn't really a big deal to either one of us. i'm fine with her being catholic and she's fine with me being muslim. now the problem is my family. i want to make them happy too. they don't really want me to marry a women who's not muslim. but i feel its meant to be and if its meant to be its gonna happen. now my parents said its against islam for me to marry her but i did some research and found a verse that says it is for me to marry a non muslim. so thats out the way, now the next obstacle is the kids. we don't know what to do? my parents said they'll disown me if i raise kids who aren't muslim. now me and my girl got a plan, we said we'd raise them muslim but she would still teach our kids her religion. she says she's cool with it but i'm still not sure if she really is. but now, the problem is everything, we want to make everyone happy and we don't know how. we need someone who can help give us a plan, so that we can deal with my parents (her parents don't really care) and a plan to decide what happens to the kids. all i know is that i need to raise them muslim. they have to follow islam. so can you give us a plan, or advice? and i know my parents won't be ok with this so what should i do about them?
ANSWER: Greetings Ahmad, and thanks for your question. My apologies for not getting to you sooner as we were having a problem with our Internet!
Actually, it sounds like you have a very good plan already; to raise them as Muslim while also teaching them about their mother's faith. It is good for them to know, so that they are not ill-informed. They could become good interfaith peacemakers someday, with parents attentive to these issues. Many Muslim do marry non-Muslim women, as did the Prophet himself. It is generally less acceptable for a Muslim woman to marry a non-Muslim man than the other way around.
I think you will find that if you are an adult son, and explain both with the Qur'an and your own relational reasons your decision to marry this woman, and that you demonstrate to them that you still respect your family's religion, that your parents will adjust with time. Many parents have pre-set ideas about the 'perfect' spouse for their child, and need time to adjust to the spouse that their child really would be in a good, healthy, compatible relationship with for the rest of their lives. Are you living in a Middle-eastern country or a Western country? The environment in which you live can also help soften these hard 'walls.' Do you have a more understanding relative that would be able to help counsel your parents? You may also wish to seek them out for help.
Actually, a Muslim marrying a Catholic have a lot in common. Look into Benedictine spirituality in particular; this is very much like Muslim spirituality (prayer times, fasting, and the other pillars). "The Order of St. Benedict" is a short book and good reading for this purpose. Your wife may also find it helpful for pointers in how to teach her faith to the children.
I hope this helps! Good luck to you in these difficult decisions. Please let me know if there's any other question I can help you with.
peace,
Le Anne
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QUESTION: hello again, ok i talked to my parents about the idea of me marrying her and they didn't like it. they said they would not bless the wedding. i know its gonna take time, we both know that, we still have her family to deal with. for now we're gonna stick with the kids being muslim. but we're both stressing out. so we decided that our families won't be the ones getting married and living together, it would be us and we make each other happy so we decided to just live our lives and go with the flow. we're still gonna work on the families but if my parents disown me then fine. i love this girl and don't wanna lose her. i don't wanna live with regret for the rest of my life. so what should we do, should we keep doing what we're doing or should we add to our plan? and where can i get that book you recommended? and what prophet married a non muslim? just curious
Answer Greetings Ahmad, and thanks for your question. It's good to recognize that your decisions as adults are up to you, and to be firm about this, but also expressing as much love and gentleness as you can to your families while also making your own decisions.
The Order of St. Benedict is available on Amazon and shouldn't cost very much. Also, I believe the Christian woman's name whom the Prophet Muhammed married was Maryam. I could have this detail wrong, but she was Coptic Christian.
