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Interracial Relationships/Dating an Albanian men, if you are dark skin color

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mel wrote at 2009-01-31 01:07:21
i am married to an Albanian man and my advice to you is tell him fine if he wants to do that but you would also like to see other men and see what he says to that.


shqiponja wrote at 2009-02-01 23:33:40
Hi, Im an albanian girl and I think I can explain why ur "boyfriend" is acting the way he is.

Albanians are very old fashioned and traditional. We place an emphasis on family and everything we do revolves around it. But an important thing to remember about albanians and family is that love is conditional. Although it sounds wierd, if you do anything to dishnour the family name, then the family can disown you for embarrasing them. Being in an interracial relationship is one of the things that can cause you to be disowned. But this attitude we have isn't just for people of a different race, it's for all people that aren't albanian.

The albanian duty is to marry another albanian.

We have this attitude because of our national pride and we want to preserve our tradition and legacy by marrying other albanians.

Although what you guys had might have been good, my advice to you is to move on and let this albanian be with the albanian girl. Because, even if you guys do get back together, it wouldn't last because of his family.

And if you care about him, don't question albanian tradition and make him betray his family.



I hope I helped


VANESSA wrote at 2010-11-20 05:39:59


I am a full blooded Albanian and can relate with him very well.  Albanian's a still very traditional and "old school."  Albanian children (especially the boy) is suppose to please their parents.  Albanian parents are drama queens and usually will use phrases like: "All I ever wanted was for you to marry an Albanian girl" or "You won't be happy unless your with a wholesome Albanian girl."  I know, I know it is obnoxious and silly, but the reality is that it actually happens.  Clearly this guy, like many Albanians, is very close to his family and he is attempting to do what his family wants him to do.  It may not be the right thing to do or what his heart wants him to do.  I know I didn't really answer your question but I just want you to kind of get an idea from the other perspective.



I wish you the best!!


LOVE ME TENDER wrote at 2011-12-14 05:43:46
Hello,



I know this is a little late but I'll still voice my opinion. I'm Albanian as well, but I'm an Albanian from Kosovo. I don't know if your ex-boyfriend is from Kosovo or Albania. But either way he's Albanian, and it is expected of us, both males and females, that we date/marry those within our culture. I see that you stated that he has a girlfriend but still talks to you and is still willing to see you. What this tells me is that he loves you but he is conflicted with what his heart wants and what his head is telling him to do. He wants to be with you, why else would he keep you around? But he doesn't to "disappoint" or "bring shame to his family's name" by dating someone out of his culture, especially someone with a darker skin tone.I had an American friend who was going through the same thing with an Albanian guy. What they really want is to have the same benefits of dating but without the label. Relationships like this is will NEVER work, only because he will never man up and do exactly what he wants to do, not what others are telling him to do. Love doesn't see ethnicity,gender, or race,and neither should we.


Olive wrote at 2013-04-17 07:50:08
This is really interesting... I met an Albanian guy and reading online (because I didn't know anything about Albanians) I was a little worried. So that I'm still wondering if I should continue... but it's less than 6 months, I've already seen his parents, some of his family members, friends, visit Albania and from his part, he doesn't see race at all, he notices that a lot of people was staring at me or us when we were walking but he doesn't care, because for us, what happens between us is between him and I. Before we started together, he was saying that a couple should have a strong foundation and not let anyone come and break it apart. He is not afraid to be with me, he constantly says he is proud but as I brought the discussion, we agreed not to give people too much details for them to creep in. His mom even asked if I was more than a friend, said that I was really nice and to invite me again for longer time during summer and that I stay home and not to pay hotel room. My issue is it is still very early and I fast track in my mind what problem could arise... He is muslim (doesn't practice at all) and I grown up in an christian family (practicant). But then again, when I met his father, he probably notice my cross ring and he graciously informed me of a church in the city saying that a lot of people were going there and getting healed. On the other hand, I don't know what my family would say. I haven't talked about him yet. My other issue is about money and career as I make more money he needs to find another job but he is also few years younger so I don't know what future holds and what path he will take. To chose a life partner is different than a boyfriend, but no matter what people say, two people from different background can make all the effort to make the relationship work. In the end, some relationships can fail for other reasons than lack of love, respect and communication.


jobie wrote at 2013-07-14 14:59:58
Im asian n dating an albanian man for 4yrs n.we r abt to marry next yr.i met his parents n his albanian frnds n cousin



Iv no worries to what ppl said on e internet..thy loves me n asked him to marry me as soon as possible..n he asked me too to visit his family in albania with him..so i think thts not true an albanian man should marry an albanian woman



Wht his frnds told me tht albanian man married to italian american russian n some asian  


teamalbo wrote at 2013-09-01 18:22:00
Olive, Albanians are not so into their religion. Its common for people to marry with different believes. I married an Albanian this April. I am brown colored from the Caribbean. (Dominican Republic) they saw me as exotic, they loved my color and thought i was so pretty. His family loves me and I love them. His friends are very nice. If he is hiding you then you have a problem.Any guy in their right minds would not hide a girl.But, then again he is probably afraid that they won't accept you. My hubby when we were dating had that same feeling but told them anyway. So, good luck.


eaglehispanic wrote at 2015-05-13 03:33:21
I  AM HISPANIC TOO AND HAPPILY MARRIED TO AN ALBANIAN MAN FOR 10 YEARS AND MANY MORE YEARS WILL COME. WE HAVE LOVELY KIDS, LOVELY HOUSE, GREAT JOBS, ETC. HE LOVES HIS BEAUTIFUL LATINA WIFE AS HE CALLED ME AND I LOVE HIM.

DON'T LISTEN TO SOME ALBANIAN WOMEN WHO ARE JUST SCARED OF "LOOSING ALBANIAN MEN" TO OTHER WOMEN FROM DIFFERENT NATIONALITY AND SAID TO THOSE WOMEN: DEAL WITH IT!

ANSWERING YOUR QUESTON: IF THE GUY WANT TO GO OUT WITH OTHER PEOPLE, THEN THE GUY IS NOT WORTH IT; ALBANIAN, EUROPEAN, HISPANIC OR WHATEVER: SAY BYE TO HIM!


Paloma wrote at 2015-08-15 01:10:55
I think it all depends on the guy, I'm a mexican girl happily married to an albanian man, we have two children togheter and he is not into albanian women at all, I think albanian women get very anxious when they see men from Albania with women of other nationalities, we were in Italy for a while and albanian men love girls from other cultures than their own, so as I said, depends on the guy.


kyraleeJ wrote at 2015-09-24 14:04:47
An Albanian or kosovan is never a shame of what they have or whom they truly love . If this man really loves you he will do what's right and follow he's heart I have only been with my love who is from kosovo for 5months but we are happy together and soon I will meet he's parents but I know from him that they love him and want him to be happy with whom ever makes him happy. Insha Allah I wish you the best and many hopes.


shan wrote at 2015-11-04 23:41:57
I know this is late but I thought I'd contribute for future readers etc.

I've been dating and Albanian guy for about 4 years now and he's only just told his parents about me. They're fine with him having a black girlfriend but basically told him that we could have no future together as it would corrupt the Albanian bloodline and they would disown him.



I'm stuck in one of the worst situations but you two are either gonna fight for what you want or you have to let him move on because over the years I've learnt that Albanian people value family so much. In saying this I don't think I'm selfish enough to let my boyfriend be disowned by his family so I guess one day i'll have to break it off and let him move on.  


ukachi wrote at 2016-02-02 16:35:06
I am in same situation right now, I started dating a very sweet and caring Albanian guy last year, we are in same school, he is younger than me,we feel in love so badly that we can't stay away from each other. Meanwhile, am a black lady from Africa.. his parent knew he was dating me but never did they ever speak to me.. i thought maybe with time they will..but to my greatest surprise i got pregnant for him now..As i write this am having his baby inside me and is going to be a boy, he parents asked him to tell me to take it out,which i refused,he Mum came all the way from Albania to Canada and took him away without my notice..and out of school. She didn't even get to meet in person. I Don't even know what to do as we speak...because i know he love me so much but couldn't stand against his parents.  


Leo wrote at 2016-02-04 16:53:09
I am Albanian men married to Japanese women for 13 years and we have 2 children this issue are different from different men

If he loves you nothing can stop you!

Some people comment BS here about tradition!


suzanah wrote at 2016-04-03 14:57:42
when I'm reading all the comments. make me think twice for marrying an kosovo albanian man. Im brown skin women from malaysia.I've been dating this man for 2years now but haven't get a chance to meet his parents. As what he told me, his parents is okay about we getting married. but not his brothers. His brothers told him that its a shame to married with someone who are not Albanian. and sometimes I think that, he wanted to marry me for visa only.


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Ian Kemp

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I can answer questions specifically on Asian - Western relationships. Society in Asian countries has different values and customs to those in the west and misunderstandings are easy in Asia-West relationships. I can help you navigate the minefield!

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