About Anisa Expertise There are certain fears about whether a person will be ridiculed or judged for dating someone from another race. I can answer any questions you might have or talk you through any doubts.
Experience I am in an interracial marriage and have been dating other races all my life. I am also the product of a very happy 50 yr interracial marriage.
Education/Credentials BA Family Sciences, BS Social Pscyhology
Question I am a 47yr old black male that used to live in Boston, Massachusettes about 22 yrs ago. During that time I had a girlfriend who was white and whenever we went out in public to go see a movie or for dinner together etc. we would get many negative looks and at times negative comments from other people especially white men and black women. This was understandable to some degree back then because Boston in general was very racist.
Here it is 2009 in Baltimore, Maryland and recently my female co-worker who is a white female asked me to follow her to drop her car off at a repair shop to be fixed and bring her back to work. This was a 15 minute drive and there is nothing romantic what so ever between us (She is 50yrs old). To my surprise the employees at the repair shop of which most were white and black males looked at us in a very negative way and seemed quite upset that we had come there together. When we left in my car at almost every stop light people in other vehicles stared at us as if we had 4 heads. We then stopped at a fast food place because she wanted to pick up something to eat and most of the customers and employees there again looked at us as if we were from another planet.
Since I had not been out in public with a white woman for over 20 years I was amazed to get basically the same negative response from others at I did way back then and in another State. Why do you think things as far as people's negative attitude towards black males and white females dating has not changed after all of these years because obviously it has not?
Thank you.
Answer Hi Murphy,
I'm sorry you had such negative reactions, especially in this day and age. We are a culture who has evolved from a division of races to a culture of women in power and a first black president; unfortunately, we are also a culture who continues to be raised on the idea that races should not intermix. There are people, of all races, who were taught that we can all live together happily and peacefully, as long as we 'stay with our own kind.' There is an old stereotype that white women who date black men are "in it" for rebellion. So many members of our society can not grasp the fact that it does not matter what race you are, if you are happy that's all that matters. Black men CAN be strong, intelligent, educated and loving. Black men are not always what is portrayed in negative content in the media. I think when you received the looks that you did when with a white woman, those negative stereotypes were running through their minds. I commend you for handling the situation maturely and for not letting it get the better of you. Hopefully, as time goes on, we will continue to accept others for who they are, regardless of race, ethnicity, creed, or color. I believe that no matter what part of the country, there will be discrimination and stereotyping. It is our job to show that we (all races) are not a stereotype, and you did exactly that.
