Interracial Relationships/albanian man


Hi I am in a relationship with an Albanian man since 5 months and we are getting married in 1 month. we spoke about getting married as it would help my visa process but he also said he wouldn't want us to divorce and would like us to be together. But he lives with his parent and they do not know we are getting married he said in due course he will tell them. I have never met his parent I have however met his brother and we message each other every now and again.
The problem we have is that his parents are very dependant on him both financially and also when they have to go to relatives or have relatives around or if there is any family issue here there and everywhere so it messes up out plan or don't allow us to meet one time too many so now I am stay to get upset with it all and its causing some non stop argument between us.. he said we have to work through things but unfortunately off recent there are quite a few problem one after the other that keep causing us to not to meet as often as we'd like so more argument. Even though we fight and he started to also get fed up and we get both upset he still apologies we both do as we love each other.. but I don't understand when will all  these madness end and also he cant be playing with me as we getting married I don't want to lose him I know he do not want to lose me to but things are getting ahead of us and I don't know what to do .. I just don't I=understand no more..there are so much to say I have tried to but as much as I could in brief

This situation does not sound like an interracial love or relationship issue, but more of a logistical matter for an immigration attorney (at least at the beginning).

I would suggest requesting a meeting between your boyfriend and his family members to discuss everything to sort out who can do what and how.

You want to marry him because it would help your visa process and (I am assuming) you love him as well. That's fine. But he fears divorce (which tells you that he is afraid he is being used for visa status and perhaps other matters as well) clearly. He lives with his parents so cannot be free of obligations to them (but you cannot meet these parents or see them). But you IM his brother (which to me is somewhat odd that you'd be so close to a boyfriend's brother).

So there are all kinds of complex communication issues going on here, back and forth, and not everyone is being open. So..the only way to resolve this is to have a meeting with the parents to discuss what's going on, and the son (your boyfriend) must call the meeting and take responsibility for it. This is the only way I can see to bring clarity to the situation. If this cannot be done I would move on and spend my time in a relationship that could move forward without drama.  

Interracial Relationships

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I can answer questions on the topic of interracial relationships, diversity, and multiculturalism.


I'm a white, Jewish man in his mid-forties who has been happily married to a black woman now for 15 years. I dated interracially for my entire life, so feel comfortable and informed on the topic, having lived it my entire life.

Former member of the Society of Professional Journalists, Investigative Reporters and Editors, and the American Federation of Teachers.


BA, English Old Dominion University

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