Expert: Melissa Burton (a.k.a Bee) - 9/27/2007

Question
Ok this might me a really long question but i have to tell you the set up. I met this guy (derrick)about a month and a half ago. he was really really funny and we clicked so much on our first date. The day after our first date i slept with him. I have been sleeping with him ever since them. Yes by sleeping i mean having sex. This is the second black guy i have ever been with. I Am only sixteen he is 18 a Senior i am a Junior. Derrick looks about 25 and is a huge black guy 6'7" over 300 and something lbs. I am a average girl 5'7" but i have more curves then an average girl, not fat though, i am in shape. so anyways i have always felt a little scared of his size. so we have just been doing the friends with benefits. well the other night Derricks mom was out of town and asked me to come over, so i did. Derrick and one of his friends were there his friend also being a huge ass black guy so i am like fuck this is going to be a fun night because that are both so funny. well then some girls came over and that made me feel better, a little more safe. and well derrick's friend kept flirting with me so i was like OK what ever, well Derrick's friend came over and sat by me and put his head on me and all that. well then the girls left. and derrick came and sat on the other side of me and out his head on my lap so now i Derrick's friend is holding my had and  derrick is playing with my other one..... well then we started watching a porn and i was like OK now i am here with two horny little boys great! but then we started playing around. and i was wrestling with derrick and then with his friend to..... and then derrick came and got me from his friend and carried me to the couch and was holding me on his lap like a baby, and we started to kiss, when i opened my eyes(like i usually do when in the middle of kissing) i saw derricks friend watching us and i locked eyes with him as i continued to kiss derrick. then i i got up and we were all just talking and then derrick just got up and went into the room, so i follow and right behind me was derricks friend. so we get in there and derrick is on one side so i go lay next to him and his friend lays next to me. next thing i know his friend is fingering me while derrick is kissing me and feeling me up..... his friend was kinds hurting me so i pulled his hand away and as soon as i did derrick went down there.... i was OK with that because he was always genital. so his friend started to kiss me and feel me up and he was a horrible kisser so i kept pulling away and he kept forcing me back. then now derrick comes to feel me up again and his friend starts to finger fuck me really hard and i keep saying ouch and oh wait not that hard but kept going really hard. Derrick wouldn't kiss but i kept my head by him so i would not have to kiss the other guy...... derricks friend though kept trying to pull my head over and stick his fingers in my mouth.....then out of the blue derrick asked who was going to go first and i was like i have to go to the bathroom..... and i went and realized what was about to go down and i was like i have to go..... so they were like why you leaving what is wrong? but they walked me out and i just went to get in my car and derrick was like where is my hug and so i gave him one and he asked what was wrong and i was looking into his eyes and just about to cry so he just let me leave......i know i wanted to do this someday maybe when i was like 20 but not when i am in high school. i never thought derrick would put me in that situation. Do you beleive that he only wants me for sex? i have heard that the only reason black me date white women is because they can treat them however they want and do what ever they want with them, because us white women cant resist them, is this true?

Answer
Hello
Okay first of all black men, just like men in general, do not want white women or any woman for just sex. I do admit that some men may want that, and there may be a few black men in the world who do feel that white women are things they would like to use for sex but it is not fair to generalize that to all men who are black. I know many black men who are very nice and would never do that and who are not complete perverts. You just had some bad luck and ended up with a guy who has issues. From what you told me, yes your boyfriend may only be using you for sex. First of all I do not know many men who would even agree to this. Not only is it weird, slightly homosexual, but very degrading to you. And if you continue to stay with this guy, you should ask yourself why. That is extremely disrespectful. If this guy wanted to do these things with you, he should have asked for your permission BEFORE putting you in such an uncomfortable situation. Anyway no black men are not all like this... you just ended up with someone who has issues. And be careful cause he is using you for his own selfish pleasures and that is not something you want out of a relationship.
Melissa