Expert: Michelle - 12/25/2003

Question
Hey, i have never seen my self as the type of guy that would date outside of my race becuase that's the way i was raised.  About 4 months ago i met an extremely beautiful girl of the "African American Persuasian" - We've been dating for about 3 months now and my parents do not agree.  We are so happy together, and it kills me that my parents do not see or understand the feelings that we have for each other.  I am White, and in a strong Christian family (baptist if you care to know).  I have talked to my preacher about it and surprisingly he didn't say anything negative except for the whole "honor thy mother and father" thing.  What am i suppost to do?

Answer
Chris,

Unlike other religions, such as Islam, Buddhism and even Judism, Christianity preaches that you can take on the whole world and be fiercely independant, as long as you have Christ/God in your heart.  They also preach "honor thy mother and father", though.  So how do you handle it when these two preachings collide?

A common reason why most people against interracial dating happens to be white, Christian people...is because said people are convinved that god was somehow against interracial dating, himself.  Truthfully, he never said anything aobout the topic, and certainly not against it.  The only thing said about dating, in the Old Testament, was that it was wrong to date outside of your religion, ie. for a Christian to date a Moslem or Pagan.  When there is talk about "mixing the races", or whatever vague reference there is do race as it comes to dating, is made with RELIGION in mind, instead of actual race.  The reason this is known, is because these passages are right in the middle of talk about religion and faith, not about skin colour and nationality.  

I would think that Christ would want his children to be happy.  If you met someone that you liked, do you REALLY think that Jesus would be against it?  Do your parents?  If they do, they are not as "strong" as they want to think.  Christ spoke of love and tolerance, not of prejeduce and hate.

Do you love her?  Do you want to be with her?  If so, then do it.  You are old enough to make your own decisions, and while, yes, it would be nice to have your parents on your side in this, you guys will not always agree.  You cannot live your whole life dancing to their tune.  They raised a perfectly strong, independant person.  

Michelle