About Susie Igras Expertise I am currently in an interracial relationship. I can answer any questions you may have in dealing with interracial relationships. I have been through many of the same problems such as not being accepted, pressure from society, fights with parents or family, and myths about dating someone of a diffirent race. I can also answer any overall relationship questions. There is no such thing as an ignorant questions but I will not answer any questions that are unacceptable or rude.
Experience I have been involved in an interracial relationship for the past 5 years. I am enaged to a wonderful black man who I love more than life itself.
Education/Credentials I have taken several psychology college courses and communcation classes.
Question Hi. I am 35, white, and have been dating a japanese guy, 40 long distance for almost 6 years, seeing each other every month. Relationship great, we finally moved into together! I am sort of embarrassed about asking..but need some advice. He is very quiet, and I think it is just his nature, and most of the time, I dont mind it at all. But something has happened in our relationship over the last couple of months, and I am just not sure how to approach this. He LOVES me performing oral sex on him. He will let it be known very clearly that he loves this, and asks for it in a roundabout way about 4 times a week. I dont mind at all, but now we never have regular sex! He never makes any indication that he wants that. I think part of it may be that he goes very quickly, but I have NEVER made him feel badly or brought it up in a conversation. Is he just not into me anymore and just wants a quick release? I mean, I am scared to ask...he has always been more receptive to oral sex than regular sex. IS this normal?A guy thing?? Or is he just not into me?? PLEASE HELP!!
Answer I can honestly say I understand. My fiance is much the same way. I think honestly sometimes he would rather get oral sex then actual sex. However, this is not because he doesn't love me or doesn't like having sex with me. We still have sex but not as often as oral sex. It could be that he never had oral sex performed on him and it became something he really enjoys. I once asked my fiance. I said why do you like oral sex so much? He said he didn't know, he just remembered the first time he ever had any performed and he liked it a lot. You are not doing anything wrong, and you are not bad in bed. Those are not reason's why he doesn't want to have as much sex. I think it would be good for you to speak to him. Tell him that you enjoy giving him oral sex but you really want to have sex with him and you really enjoy having sex with him. The thing about men is, you have to really explain everything! You have to tell them what you want, they are not good at reading body language and most of the time they are confused about what women want. They like to be told they are wanted, that you desire to have sex with them, that they make you feel good. I don't know why but that is their thing. So take charge. Tell him that you really want to have sex, you have been craving it, and you really enjoy it. That should do the trick. O it might help if you do it like me and my fiance. A little oral sex to start out, and then sex. I hope this helps you. Remember don't be scared to ask for what you want!
