About Ms. HeartBeat Expertise In a perfect world, love would have no lines of color, social status, religion or ethnicity. In the real world our familial upbringing, coupled with disparaging messages by our society often produce conflicting emotions and confusion in the partners. What impact does an interracial relationship have on the two lovers? How can you tell if your relationship is based on real love, rebellion, or exotic sexual attraction? My background covers more than 10 years in the relationships field. Ive written more than a dozen published articles, conducted thousands of interviews, and produced workshops and seminars for singles in the San Francisco Bay Area. For two years I hosted an online relationship advice column on AOL, and currently author a weekly advice column on the internet. My style is blunt and to the point; I don`t coddle nor baby you. My style may not be suitable for those who are sensitive or want someone to tell them what they want to hear rather than the truth.
Question Dear Ms. Heartbeat,
I am a white teen female and I dated a black male for nine months. We were very much in love with each other but my parents did not want us to be together. They said that I was to young to deal with the way people would act towards our relationship. I got caught with him and got grounded for the entire summer. We started talking again when school started but we never did go out because I was scared and he was getting into trouble. This went on for about 6 months until he moved half an hour away. He called me once but I could not talk and I have not heard from him since. I miss just talking to him and I want to call him. What do I do?
Thanks,
Kali
Answer You do what your parents told you to do. You want to be grounded again for THIS entire summer? Honey, when you are grown and on your own, you can do whatever you want to do with whomever you want to do it, whenever you want to do it. But as long as those two parents are supporting you, putting a roof over your head, food in your stomach, and clothes on your back, they get the privilege and the responsibility of taking care of you, advising you, preparing you for adulthood, requesting that you do certain things or behaviors - and when you don't follow their requests and advice, then they get to TELL YOU what to do. That is the way it is.
In time you will get over this guy and he will be just a plesant memory. What you have to think about is that NO KID,, whether he is black, white, or green with pink polka dots, is a good partner for you to have if he is doing stupid things, hanging with a bad crowd, or getting into trouble with the law. I'm thinking its good that his family moved him to another area, hopefully it will give him a new start and he can get himself together.
