About Melissa Burton (a.k.a Bee) Expertise I can help you with anything you need to know about interracial dating. I myself have been in many relationship with different races. I have also experienced when your parents are not accepting of who you want to date. So if you ever need advice feel free to ask me.
Experience I have dated many guys of various races,cultures and religions.I have also helped many of my friends who had dated different races. Also I've been in different high school and college related organizations.
Question Hello Melissa,
i am a cuban-jewish/white mix woman who is partnered for 3
years with an african american woman.
i will try to make it brief. i love my girlfriend very much, but we
have had some issues around our respective race ideas.
i think she is kind of neurotic about race. for example, she will
always resort to race to put someone down, like "damn asian
driver!" i don't like it, she knows this. but then when it comes to
african americans she is more sensitive... for example, very
aware of how the news paints them out to be criminals or lazy.
On the other hand, she can be way too hard on black people -
expecting them all to be totally perfect so as to contradict the
negitive stereotypes.
i agree with her about most of her observations on the news, but
if i don't agree, she feels invalidated, then i become one of
"them". i try hard to accept that she knows better than me the
b.s. african americans have to put up with. i want her to teach
me, since i can't possibley know.
sometimes she gets down on jews. my dad was a jew from
havana cuba, my mom was white. i don't align myself with
jewish culture although i have been to temple and went to a
hebrew kindergarden. sometimes she says stuff about jews
that's really backwards, like that the holocaust didn't happen - 6
million jews exterminated is an "exaggeration". i can't tell you
how hurt and offended i get. some black moslems go with these
stupid anti semetic ideas too, but it's too bad since the two
cultures have a lot in common. sometimes she says stuff that
sounds so insensitive. then when i get upset she'll say "why do
you have to take it so personally, i didn't know you thought of
yourself as jewish" i'm probably the least jewish jew you could
meet! it's mostly that i can't believe she is being so hateful - it
doesn't matter the race.
i think this note makes her seem awful. she isn't awful, but i
think she's totally neurotic about race. she is a really wonderful
woman - this is the only thing that has actually caused us to
break up because it was such an awful argument.
tell me what you think, thank you very much in advance.
eve
Answer Hey Eve
Well being a mixed black I can understand where your girlfriend is saying when she means that black people definately have a bad reputation and you see that a lot in the news. But at the same time I have to agree with you that blacks are not the only ones who face discrimination. Many people do, just not blacks. Also I do agree that it is not right to expect someone to be perfect. There are many black people moving up and everything but all we can do is hope that things will turn out much better and to be a role model for others. I comepletely agreee with you about the jewish comment. That was very rude. I know plenty of people who think like this who are very nice people so don't worry I'm not judging her. But everybody has problems. Everybody needs to improve themselves and this is something she needs help with. All you can really do is figure out if she's worth being with even with this negative side of her, and also you need to learn how to not talk about this. When you feel her about to bring up any racial subjects then switch it somehow, don't even go there. Also help her to be a better person. Whenever you get a chance to educate her about how other races have it hard and can do it subtley and make it show her how everyone has to deal with discrimination then let her know. That's all you can really do. Anyways good luck to you and I hope everything will work out ok and God bless you and everyone in your life!
Melissa
