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About Ms. HeartBeat
Expertise
In a perfect world, love would have no lines of color, social status, religion or ethnicity. In the real world our familial upbringing, coupled with disparaging messages by our society often produce conflicting emotions and confusion in the partners. What impact does an interracial relationship have on the two lovers? How can you tell if your relationship is based on real love, rebellion, or exotic sexual attraction? My background covers more than 10 years in the relationships field. Ive written more than a dozen published articles, conducted thousands of interviews, and produced workshops and seminars for singles in the San Francisco Bay Area. For two years I hosted an online relationship advice column on AOL, and currently author a weekly advice column on the internet. My style is blunt and to the point; I don`t coddle nor baby you. My style may not be suitable for those who are sensitive or want someone to tell them what they want to hear rather than the truth.

 
   

You are here:  Experts > News/Issues > Race Relations > Interracial Relationships > interacial compatability

Interracial Relationships - interacial compatability


Expert: Ms. HeartBeat - 9/28/2000

Question
Hi ms heartbeat,For a long time I have wanted a true relationship with an asian lady primarely for the better devotion shown to their man(myth?)and contentment with life instead of `searching for myself`or`my soulmate`as is often the case,at least in southern Ontario.I searched the net and formed a long distance relatioship with a Thai lady in her early 40`s seeking long term with an older gentleman.I am prepared to give it my all and intend visiting her in Thailand in the near future.What advise are you able to offer me ?Incidentaly,I chose you for your honesty,Thank you in anticipation,Colin

Answer
I realize that your quest for something sincere and real has lead you down this avenue, but you are playing into racial stereotypes that could be highly offensive.  These attitudes are, no matter how innocent, considered to be racist.  There is not a woman alive that will be more "devoted to her man" because of the color of her skin! Judge each person you meet on their own merits and their own performance.  Don't assume anyone is better or worst because of stereotyping.

As for these foreign bride type things, be careful.  Some of the women are destitute and may claim to be in love then start to ask for money for "emergencies"... and since you are emotionally attached, you will be inclined to send it.  But if you go for a woman of education,who has her own means and is pretty stable financially, it should be at least an interesting experience for you.

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