About Melissa Burton (a.k.a Bee) Expertise I can help you with anything you need to know about interracial dating. I myself have been in many relationship with different races. I have also experienced when your parents are not accepting of who you want to date. So if you ever need advice feel free to ask me.
Experience I have dated many guys of various races,cultures and religions.I have also helped many of my friends who had dated different races. Also I've been in different high school and college related organizations.
Question I am 22 and I am biracial mixed with Chinese, Black, Spanish, and Indian. Currently I am dating an Indian girl who is 27. We have way to many problems and I am currently trying to figure out if I should continue to pursue her. We have been dating for a year and we are madly in love. We have a great time together when she is in a good mood. She gets in a bad mood when she starts to think of all our obstacles. First, her parents won't approve because I am not full Indian. If she decides to marry me her family will not be supportive and will probably disown her. I know that with time they would come around but she doesn't feel like waiting for that. She wants to get married this year and it would kill her if they didn't come around right away. Second, I am physically disabled. I walk with two crutches and sometimes I use a wheelchair for long distances. She feels like I won't be able to do a lot of things in the future. For example, if we were to have kids she thinks that I won't be able to help take care of them. She would have to take up most of the responsibility and that scares her. Also her mom puts a lot of pressure on her to marry and Indian guy. She constantly brings them around trying to match make. Because of these things she has broke up with me over 15 times in the past year. But we always seem to find our way back to each other. Yesterday she told me that she loves me but all of the stress is beginning to be to much. She said she is going to consider having an arranged marriage this year to an Indian guy. I love her so much and I don't want to let her go. What shoud I do? I need help.
Answer Hey Marc
Well it sounds like the both of you need to make a choice. I believe her parents will come around to, but let's both be honest, that may take YEARS. And unless you guys want to get married at 40 well is it really worth it to wait to just get married. Also your girlfriend needs to question what is more important her parents and the difficulties your disablity may bring or being with you. Everyone has issues. Nobody is perfect. But you can work through them. Your disability should not be a reason why she shouldn't be with you. I'm sure there are plenty of things you can do to help her. It may be difficult but you guys can do it and if she loves you as much as you think she does then it shouldn't even be considered as a problem.
But you guys need to figure things out. That's great you guys are still together but breaking up 15 times in less than a year is not healthy at all. And that's not a good thing for the relationship. So you both need to understand that a decision has to be made NOW!I know ir's a hard one but if she is not willing to tell her parents or have faith that you'll make a wonderful parent then I feel it's not worth it to pursue it. I wouldn't force the marraige issue but she needs to tell them eventuall. Maybe not this month but sometime this year. She also needs to learn to have faith in you. We all have problems that may not go well in a marraige but if both partners work together then they can find a way to make it work and be completely fair.
but talk to her about this and let her know that if she doesn't try to tell her parents sometime this year and/or she doesn't accept you with your disablity then it might be a good idea to break up and not get back together. I wouldn't worry about telling her parents as much as accepting the disability. Marraige is something serious and it sounds like you guys need another year or so before you get married. But she needs to accept ALL of you. If she doesn't want you based on your disability then that's something you need to NOW. ans that is most important. So talk this through with her and if she's still unsure or if she's not willing to the disability then it's probaly a good idea to break it off.
Buit talk about this and question her about her problems with you and ask her to tell her parents sometime soon. But give her a lot of time to do it, but in a specified time period like by the time the year is over. Well good luck with this and I'm very sorry to hear about the problems you guys are going through! I hope things will work out for the best for you both in the future! Have a nice day and God bless you!
Melissa
