Expert: Melissa Burton (a.k.a Bee) - 4/5/2006

Question
My 26 year old daughter, who lives with me, has been dating a wonderful black 19 year old. I really like him.
He is smart, in college, goes to church, is very respectful and he seems to love her and he makes her happy.
Seems I am the only one in my Very Small family that excepts, this relationship.Since I allow it, everone is turning against me. What do I do?
I know I can not make everyone happy, but I don't want to loose my little bit of a family.
I have tried talking, and I get no where.

A loving Mother


Answer
Hey Diane
Well I see no reason except probaly the age difference why everyone would get upset. But I know this is probaly not the advice you wanted, but all you can do is deal with it. You shouldn't ruin your daughter's happiness just cause the other family members don't like it. What you can do is avoid the topic. Try to stay away from subjects, like your daughter's boyfriend. If they do not agree then do not debate with them about it. Just nod your head and give a neutral statement but do not take their side or debate with them about how they are wrong. But talking really will get you nowhere. The best thing to do is to just avoid the topic and act neutral to your dating this guy. But if you like the guy and if you really have no problem with it then don't make your daughter suffer for it. Just accept it but avoid the topic and give neutral statements about it. Good luck with this and I hope one day your family will be openminded about interracial relationships! It's really sad how a family can break up over something like this.
Melissa