Expert: Melissa Burton (a.k.a Bee) - 9/22/2006

Question
I am 23 year old korean girl. I am currently going out with a Indian guy. we have dated for about a year now. Im from a very strict family. my dad doesnt even know i date and mom found it very disapproving that i am dating someone who is not my race. it hurts me everytime my mom says she prays to god to send me a nice korean boy to marry, telling me that interracial marriage NEVER works out. its not as if we are at a stage where we are thinking about marriage however i would not be seeing him if i thought the relationship would end. my mom keeps saying that we will break up soon and that she will set me up with someone. how do i get my mom to understand that its my choice to date him and respect my decison? and that if i am to date someone, it will not be based on their race..  

Answer
Hello Gina
I'm sorry to hear that your parents are not very approving of your situation. The only thing you can really do is to tell your mom how you feel. Just talk to her about it and how you want her to respect this decision you made and how in the future you will date people for who they are not what they are. Just talk to her about it. If she doesn't understand then there's not much you can do. You cannot force her to understand, she has to understand that for herself. But just talk to her about it and try to convince her that this is your decision and that's the way it will always be. Good luck with this and I hope that at the least your mom will be more understanding about this!
Melissa