Expert: Susie Igras - 8/28/2007

Question
ok so i have had a "friendship" with someone i met at work for about a year now. he's black, i'm white. i always go for black men but this guy is a little younger than me and has this "bad boy" image i guess you would say. he's very sweet to me and calls and texts me. in the beginning we agreed it was kinda just a "sexual" realationship, well my question is. do you think these signs mean he wants more? he calls alot texts sweet things offers to bring me lunch calls me names like baby, sweetie. i just can't tell if he's playing me or if he wants more?

Answer
I can see where you would get the impression that he wants more but I don't think that is the case. You have said you already discussed you relationship as being pretty much friends with benefits only. Since you have never had a discussion about being together or he hasn't mentioned it than I would say that's not what he is thinking. I do think that having sex with you does make him develop feelings, but not the lovey-dovey type. I had a good friend who had a friend with benfit's for over a year and they even discussed love with eachother but she was always on the side and eventually he went on to date someone else. However the best thing to do is to decide what you want. Do you want a relationship or just sexual activity? Then ask him where he thinks this is going. If it's not heading where you want then stay friends but cut off the sexual activity and look for someone else. The closer you get now the harder it will be to be with someone else if you both don't want the same thing. Good luck. If you need anything else let me know!